Yeah, it could do with some english touch-ups....i seak for myself here, but spelling/grammar errors aer noticeable and tend to bring games down in my humble opinion. If you want any help with that, i'll gladly oblige.
As for the story, sounds interesting, nice and simple...bit random, with the evil spirit and all, but hey, that's cool. Any more mention on gameplay? How things would work? As in, quest system or something in the 3 cities?