Would you rather...?

A compulsive eater. It doesn't matter how much I eat because my body won't let me out of the "underweight" zone.

Would you rather ride in a hot air balloon or in a single engine biplane?

I would love to ride a hot air balloon. Their so fun, and bubbly! 

Would you rather eat KFC, or Popeyes?

WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE? YOU CRUEL FIEND!

Okay, KFC. Popeyes hurts me anymore, I'm getting old.

Rather be the old man/woman in a nursing home bed, unable to do anything meaningful, or the young low-wage worker that wipes the former's ass every day?

I'd rather be the latter; there's still hope yet. Once you're at the end of your life you haven't got much left go for, especially if you're in that state. It's a part of life is cleaning up shit after people too; it being literal is not really that disturbing... gross, yes, but not disturbing.

Me being me, here's a pretty well known (if you're into this kind of thinking on a regular basis) situation:

Would you rather be insane in a functional society, or one of the people running a profoundly dysfunctional society?

Good question. I have heard it said that  crazy people are the only ones who see things clearly, but I guess running a society puts you on top of the pile. Still, history will remember the psychopath as a prophet and the leader a villain, so I'll choose to be insane.

Would you rather be the one responsible for a horrible accident or that person's dear friend who sees them suffer?

That question might need slightly clarifying.

Are we talking Person A is involved in an accident caused by Person B and we are assuming to be Person B in the first part; and for the second part we are Person C who is a friend to Person A?

Or are we assuming we are Person A who is responsible for causing an accident to some unimportant person*; or Person C who is a friend to Person A who is suffering as a result of causing an accident to the unimportant person.

Note: I am not in any way endorsing that a person involved in an accident is unimportant; they just aren't for the purpose of this question.

In either scenario, though, and in a not at all selfish manner, whichever side we're on we haven't been in an accident, so we aren't in any harm. So that's good. As for which I'd rather be, I'd have to go for Person C, the one who is a friend. Whilst I can give support, I'm still living my life pretty normally and not injured/dead/comatose/guilty/remorseful etc.

---
I don't know what's already been put (and I'm not looking), so:

Would you rather be unhappy knowing the truth, or being happy with a lie?

*You should assume this is about something of great importance to you.

Tell me the miserable truth, bitches.

You had the jist of the previous question, by the way...

Would you rather be talented or lucky?

Talented, luck only takes you so far.

Would you rather be the person who does the dirty work or
be the person who gives the order to the other person to do the dirty work?

(By dirty work, I mean torture, assassinations, etc)

I would rather do the dirty work. Its like Eddard said.

Would you rather live without TVs (that means no TV shows, not even streaming online) or internet?

I hardly ever watch TV anyway, so I'd choose the internet.

Would you rather eat nothing but cow crap for a week or
be tortured by listening to the worst music endlessly for a month?

(Worst music is whatever you can't stand listening to, even for a second)

MUSIC. What the fuck dude, who would choose eating shit?

Pillow full of bumblebees or mattress fulla snakes?

I would think the mattress fulla snakes would be nice on the sore muscles, if somewhat disconcerting.

Wake up to find yourself covered in Sharpie doodles or find several hundred miniature lobsters crawling all over you?

Sharpie doodles, I can easily get them off with a shower, but miniature lobsters would probably traumatise me.

I know some people who would rather eat shit than listen to Rebecca Black or Justin Bieber,, which is why I asked.


Would you rather a pie or a sausage roll?

Pie, not really a fan of sausage.

The food, that is. The other is just fine.

Step on a razor blade, or hammer a nail into your hand?

The latter sounds much more painful and dangerous. I'm going to go with razor.

Would you rather change genders or turn into a dangerously obese person with an eating disorder?

I'd rather change genders, but that's an intriguing concept in and of itself.

Would you rather be able to turn into a bear, or an elephant

Bear. Elephants are all big and stupid.

Would you rather have no heater in the winter, or no A/C in the summer?

No A/C in the summer. That's way more tolerable.

Would you rather murder someone or be murdered?

Kill me. The dead are at peace, it is the living that endure a life time of sorrow.

In that vein, rather be the murderer, or the one who pushes the button that executes the guilty?

Executor, easily. If I have to kill, I might as well allow myself the justification to ease my mind.

Milk or Dark chocolate?

Milk. I'm not such a fan of dark chocolate.
What was first, the chicken or the egg?

Egg. Definitely egg.
Annoying Christian or annoying Atheist?
As in, which one would you rather be.
Disclaimer: not all of any of these groups are annoying.

Christian. At least they stand for something.

Rather have a knife slash across the small of your back or a paper cut on your genitals? (Assuming you put paper products that close to your junk... it's your world, whatever's clever.)

Knife slash; way cooler scar and the story would not be as embarrassing.

Would you rather have no fingernails or no nipples?

No nipples.
If I have no fingernails, I'd be freaked out.
Anyways, Would you rather eat shit but it was actually chocolate,
or eat chocolate but it's really shit?