Game Idea

Here's an idea for a game I had. It's a work in progress, and any critique for improvement will be helpful.
Game Name: Defying Death
Basic Plot: The story is about a young man named [hero]. Of late [hero]'s life has been going great: he got a promotion at his job and his fiance has just agreed to marry him. After a party with a few friends, [hero] sets off, to get home to his wife-to-be. However, while crossing a busy bridge, he loses control of the car and pluges into the water...
Regaining conciousness, he finds himself face down in the water at a beach not far from the bridge. Seeing his car underwater, he is relived to be alive. Untill he see's his own body being packed into a black body bag. Confused and frightened, [hero] observes this scene, when a strangly dressed, pale man, approaches him. He reveals himself to be the reaper, and that he is here to take him to the otherworld, where souls of the dead go to be judged wheter they are fit to carry on with another existence or be punished. Insiting that he has too much to live for, [hero] hero makes a break for his body. upon contact, his soul enters his body, and he stirs and sits up, much to the surprise of the coroners and are taking him away. Examined at a hospital and he was a lucky man, he is sent home...
However, he doesn't feel the same, bothered by the Reapers last words, "No one can defy their death, I will hunt you down [hero], and when I do you will be punished by a fate worse than death". The reaper's words prove true, when two of the Reaper's familiars come to kill [hero]. Since the familiars are spiritual entities, they only damage [hero]'s sould, and not his body... and when fatigue takes over, he can no longer keep himself in his body. The familiars take him throught a portal into the other world, but dying twice and being exposed to the otherworld unlocks something in [hero], and he kills the familiars. He then goes to explore the settlement of the otherworld....

That is it for now, tell me what you think