Finish the proverb

Okay, new game. Just post the beginning of a proverb and give it a new ending.

For example:

Original:

If at first you don't succeed, ... try and try again

Modified:

If at first you don't succeed, ... kill Jared Leto.

Except make it funny, instead of stupid. You can use the same proverb someone else has used, and you can post as many versions of any proverb as you like. Go.

The early bird always gets the...

chevy

Don't bite the hand ...


(and try to put a proverb beginning as well as the ending to this, so that we can speed things up. i.e. if you finish a proverb, start a new proverb)

that rubs you.


A journey of a thousand miles must start...

after one refills the gas tank.

He who is overcome by greed...

gets his head chopped off by Somalian .
(I'm really not so good at this. I should make games up that I'm good at from now on)

It is always darkest before...

spreading the cheeks.      <.< (couldnt think of anything lol)


Sticks and stones may break my bones, but....

my god why did you have to use a gun.

Keep your friends close and your enemies...

... in a tank of killer pirranhas.

Cleanliness is next to...

... in a tank of killer pirranhas.

Cleanliness is next to...

... an odd fellow named Patel. He's an inventor.


A penny saved is ...

EDIT:

Oh and <3 "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but my god why did you have to use a gun."

... is the last thing that goes throught your mind as you get swallowed up by a giant gerbil.

Where there's a will....

... There's money involved.

What you don't know...

... will eat you on monday.

You can't make an omlette....

without ten tons of lard

Its better to lose a battle than to...

...give up your star trek action figure collection.

Behind every great man...

... is a gay guy bending forward.

One man's loss is another man's...

girlfriend.

Keep your friends close and your enemies...

... in the crosshairs

Discretion is the better part ...

of having sex.

If there was no life there would be...

...chance to wreak molten death on the weakest parts of it.

A mind is a terrible thing...

...without apple sauce 

A home without a cat...

is like a cat without a home?

No one is...

without pants.

Curiosity...

IS MOST AROUSING!

When in doubt,...