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The Most Retarded RPG Ever

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The Most Retarded RPG Ever

In the world of Gian, Kratos, Dark Lord of Darkness used his dark powers to consume the world in darkness.  He killed off every Geomancer, the bringers of life, thus destroying almost all plant life.  Three hundred years later...

Playable Characters
Spoiler for:
Poggi
Age:14
RPG Role:That Stupid Pure Hearted Farmboy
Weapons:Cursed Flower Pot and Soil
Powers:Plant Growth, control, and revival
Storyline:Poggi was a simple farmboy from the village of Islendall, and one day he desided to skip a day of forced labor.  He took his best friend with him and stumbled across a cursed sword.  Upon pulling it out, the sword took the shape of a giant flower pot, and when he returned, some pf Kratos's spies caught a glimpse of the demonic pot.  The next morning, his village was being burnt to the ground.

Damos the Cursed Sword
Age:Old as Time Itself
RPG Role:The Sacred Weapon Lodged in a Rock
Weapons:He is Poggi's Weapon
Powers: Having unlimited amounts of soil
Storyline:At the beginning of time, the gods created a dark sword to create the world.  Upon finishing it, they feared that man kind is to stupid to wield such a powerful object so they sealed it so only one with a pure heart can pull him out.  Way way way way way later, Poggi, along with his best friend found him, and pulled him out.  Suddenly, do to the fact the Poggi's a farmboy, he changed into a flower pot.

Fredrick
Age:14
RPG Role:Farmboy's Fat Best Friend
Weapons:Fists and Swords
Powers:Elemental Attacks
Storyline:One day, Poggi, his best friend convinced him to skip forced farming (In which he doesn't participate in anyway.) and comes across Damos.  He advices Poggi not to pull him out, but fails to succeed.  The next morning, their village is being burnt to the ground. After finding out why, he declares their friendship over and leaves Poggi to die in the desert.

Erika
Age:13
RPG Role:Chosen Girl with no Memories
Weapons:Staffs
Powers:White Magic (How she happens to remember that is a mystery...)
Storyline:Poggi meets her as a prisoner of the Fourty Thieves, and they team up to escape their hide out, just to split up afterwards.  Upon entering a town, Poggi finds out that Kratos has a bigger reward on her head.  Not knowing why, he sets out to find her again.

Josheph the Extreme Bunny
Age:17
RPG Role:Animal Character
Weapons:Bicycles and Sticks
Powers:Being !EXTREME!
Storyline:He is a rebel like none other, as he will pick fights with Kraten Generals and kill them, with a bike...  He meets Poggi and is forced to team up with him when they are ambushed.  Afterwards, he wishes him luck and leaves, giving him a world map.

Tech the Shapeshifting Turtle
Age:9
RPG Role:Fanboy
Weapons:None
Powers:Shapeshifting
Storyline:He is Josheph's waterboy and sidekick.  He met Josheph when he was 5 and tagged along as his partner transforming into hockey pucks, basket ball hoops, and even jump ropes.

The Monkey King
Age:306
RPG Role:Annoying Character
Weapons:Staffs
Powers:Black Magic
Storyline:He is the apprentice of the god Canibon and is current on Kratos's hit list.  He finds Poggi in an ancient city, and spends the whole time annoying him.  Later, he is led into a trap (A banana tied to a stick, holding up a box...) and is freed.  In return, he offers one-hundred years of service, afterlife not included.

Sir Forbles
Age:23
RPG Role:The Ugly yet Useful Guy
Weapons:Rapiers and Bows
Powers:Scanning his Opponent
Storyline:He use to be Kratos's toughest general, but was later fired for being so damn ugly!  He later meets Josheph and is told about his quest, leading him onto a journey to join his group and get his revenge!

Doug
Age:15
RPG Role:The Human Being that Doesn't Look Quite Human
Weapons:Volleyballs
Powers:Digging just about Anything Round
Storyline:Doug is the team captain of the Kraten Volleyball Team and seeks to win the championship game.  At the game, he meets David, captain of the other team, and with Sir Forble's help, they defeat him.  Doug quits afterwards, and follows Sir Forble on his quest to seek out this Poggi.

Plad
Age:19
RPG Role:The Obviously Gay Bard
Weapons:Harp and Guitars
Powers:Playing Music
Storyline:He travels from town to town play his melody.  He meets Poggi when he is on the run, and somewhat saves his butt.  Seeing this opportunity as protection as he travels the world, he joins the group.

Jessica the Bear
Age:26
RPG Role:The Big Guy
Weapons:Claws
Powers:None
Storyline:During Fredrick's journey, he meets Jessica, under attack by hunters.  He kills them all he is rewarded with any favor, In which he asks her to go find Poggi, and help him out.  They depart afterwards and later meets Poggi while crossing paths.  She joins the group shortly after.

Submarine Man
Age:14
RPG Role:?
Weapons:Fists and Swords
Powers:Elemental Attacks
Storyline:When Poggi is finally defeated, Submarine Man suddenly comes to his rescue.  He joins the group and helps defeat Aries, the General of War.  Who is this stranger!  Why does he want to help Poggi so badly! and Why does he have a strong resemblance to Fredrick!  Don't take to long to figure that out...

Enemies
Spoiler for:
Dark Lord Kratos
Age:Unknown
RPG Role:Dark Lord
Weapons:Axe of Paul
Powers:Dark Lordish Powers
Storyline:He took over the world, killed all of the geomancers, and has destroyed almost all plant life.  He now is after Poggi, the last Geomancer.

Kunifas
Age:Unknown
RPG Role:Evil RPG Long-Haired Pretty Boy
Weapons:Masamune
Powers:Unknown
Storyline:Kratos's most loyal follower.  He is sent to take out any rebel groups.

Aries
Age:57
RPG Role:Guy with a Big Fist
Weapons:Giant Stone Fist
Powers:Fire
Storyline:Kratos's General of War.  He leads the G-Block Soldiers.

Other Characters
Spoiler for:
The Masked Loser
Age:15
RPG Role:The nerd with enough free time to make this game...
Weapon:Computer
Powers:Running away
Storyline:The Masked Loser makes a reappearance since Weird Wars, and after hearing about Poggi's bounty, he sets out to capture him, if only he could fight a little better...

The Grim Reaper
Age:Unknown
RPG Role:Death
Weapon:Sythe
Powers:Collecting souls
Storyline:He is about to get fired because the undead rising from their graves, so he hires Sir Forbles to take care of them.

Cameos
Spoiler for:
Allen Grant (Wierd Wars)
Look at paintings to see a familiar face...

The Letter "A" (Wierd Wars)
Watch the Birds over Islendall...

Luigi (Wierd Wars)
Play Mario Bros in the thieves hut to see...

Sammy the Naga (Wierd Wars)
Not all statues are of nobles...

Mario (Dark Super Mario Brothers)

More coming some...
« Last Edit: May 12, 2007, 01:34:35 PM by The Masked Loser »
Why Mario kicks ass:

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I hereby bless this project.  godspeed
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I look forward to this. Is it just me or are more of these coming up...?

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This is very stupid... I love it.
I made my first good cut scene on May,9/07!

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Argh! I hate young characters. It's the worst thing I know. It's like a bunch of kids running around and kills monsters. That dosemn't sound good.

Any screens soon?

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Well, it's always the least serious games that get finished these days. Good luck dude.

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hmmm stupid games lol well i suppose it makes a difference from normal cliche games lol good luck x