What makes good dialogue? (Wasn't sure where to put this...)

What DOES make good dialogue? I need to know, because I'm trying to write some...

     Like, I'm doing a short tech demo in Game Maker. For part of it, I'll do some voice acting (tomorrow there are only going to be like, two people in this building, so I'll be pretty much unrestricted on volume, which is what destroys the quality of pretty much all my previous attempts.) for dialogue that appears on screen. Thing is...I know what I want to say, just not how best to say it.

     The theme is Castlevania. It's the very last boss, and the mood is of course, very tense. The characters are you, (typical hero guy, cept this about the third time you've done this, so you have experience) a powerful priest, (think the pope, but EVIL-EVIL-EVIL-EVIL-EVIL) and someone dear and important to you (they'll be hanging from a cross, behind the priest. Could be either gender at this point. But there won't be any gay thing going on here, that's not what I mean. I'm actually trying to avoid romance, unless of course, it would help the dialogue. That aside, this person won't be talking.)

     So considering that situation, what should I do to make it sound best? Not only the words themselves, but what tone should I take with each character, what kind of voice? Should the priest haev a deep, booming voice, and should it sound like a lion's roar every time he opens his mouth? Or should he seem raspy and decrepit? Also, the hero. Should he seem pained that his firend/whatever is hanging limp in front of him, seemingly dead, or should he be filled with righteous anger?

Help?

I always prefer righteous anger to emoness.

*Cue eerie/flangered "Ahahahahaaaa...", ala Death from SOTN*

Priest: Soma, you've arrived.

Soma: You...I'll tear y-

Priest: Silence, silence! Behold...

Soma: !!

Priest: Yes...Your dear friend ____ will be the sacrifice that revives Lord Dracula.

Soma: NO! YOU CAN'T!

Priest: Ah, but I can, Soma. And I will.

*The priest turns to the cross, and begins the ritual.*

Priest: Yes, grand!!

Soma: Damn you!

*Soma leaps forward, and slashes at the priest, cleanly removing his arm*

Priest: GUHCK!!

Soma: Hold still, and I will end this quickly enough.

Priest: Insolent pup! How dare you strike a man of the cloth!

Soma: You still speak of yourself as such?! You are no longer a holy man, but an abomination unto this world!

Priest: Nnng! You are a fool..! Completely...unaware of whom you are dealing with...

Soma: Am I?

Priest:...So be it. I would have gone so far as to allow you a moment to plead to Dracula for your sins before
       you died, but no more! Now you shall feel the crucible that is my wrath!

So I tried...opinions? Please, be MEAN, I want this to work WELL, I'm going to be SAYING these things. (Unless any of you would like to halp.)

Also, feel free to edit/repost as you see fit.

Well, this may seem odd but I prefer something long the lines of anger+shock+sadness. Odd yes? I know. Still, this is the way I would try it. Useually seeing something such as that would leave a person in shock. Then, depending on that character's personality, could send them either into a blinded rage or a breakdown. Mind you when i say "breakdown" I don't mean get on the floor and sob and cry his/her eyes out, I mean mentally. It would most likely pain to see someone close to you hanging from a cross. Strangely enough, I was thinking on using this type of thing(the setting: the character hanging from a cross-type thing, etc.) except it would be entirely different seeing as how you are going for the Castlevania style of things.

Useually a character wouldn't keep his cool if he was in his normal state of mind (if he's crazy then it's an entirely different matter)


First of all you have to think of the characters: What are their personalities? How would they really act in this situation? etc. Try to relate it to the character's. Try to make it memorable, stunning, or whatever kind of feel your going for. Make the villain sound EVIL. Make the hero sound good, honerable, or whatever he is. Would they be shocked to see something like this or would they just shake it off? Would they, as stated above, break down or go into a blinded rage? I suppose in the end it really comes down to what you want them to feel.


And thus ends my rant. Weather it helps or does absolutely nothing...welll...that's another story in it's own.

As a final note: Just THINK. What do YOU want them to say? If you can't think of anything then just brainstorm a bunch of ideas. If none of them seem perfect, then take them apart and try and put bits and pieces of each one togeather to form something you like.

that's basically all I can think on at midnight. *yawn*

That was actually very, very useful. Thanks Lavata!

I suppose I should have guessed that I needed to tell about their personalities though...

The priest is malleable, since he's my own deal and not a pre-existing character, so I suppose he's up for discussion.

Soma however, is a different matter. Soma has been in two games, so his character is pretty much set in stone.

Soma actually contains the soul of Dracula inside him;  he was born on the day of Dracula's "death". This gave him a special strength, the power of "dominance". This allows him to take the souls of Dracula's minions and convert them to augment his own abilities. However, he contains these souls inside his body as well. In both games, Soma has run the risk of going mad. As far as I can tell, he is quick to anger, and he wants to do the right thing. However...

Spoiler for According to Dawn of Sorrow...:

If he goes mad, Dracula will be reborn inside him, and Soma will "die", with Dracula living on through his body.

That being said, he tends to exhibit some very violent tendancies when he hits certain emotional highs.

Outside of that...he's not my creation, so I don't really know. :\

I ussually just give characters a general personality and they sort of write themselves. =/

I think at the point where Soma lobs the priest's arm off, he shouldn't say anything, but rather just tense up like he's fighting some violent urge, and then suddenly screaming and jumping forward to slice is arm off.


I know you're only working on dialog, and not necessarily animation and such, but I'd see it like one of those things where the character hears a heartbeat inside his head, and he gets really distraught and tense. Perhaps with some growling. I think you know what I'm talking about.

Interesting...I may do that. Maybe record it both ways, post both here.

If you're writing dialogue for Castlevania, shouldn't it be really cheesy anyway?

BAZZZZING!!

I'd see it like one of those things where the character hears a heartbeat inside his head,about.

...

Anime Vein Popping?

oh, read that wrong. *ahem*

Well...I dont know. I think any scene like that is hard to write for, but if anything, just do what Gilga said- just give them personalities. Dont start at the end, even if it is a tech demo. And if it is, dont do a tech demo with dramatic dialogue.

Close, but it's just one quick heartbeat. Kinda like a "something awakening within" sign.

I ussually just give characters a general personality and they sort of write themselves. =/

Oh Lord I actually went and recorded my voice.

You now officially scare me o.o

EVIL!

Ahem. Anyway...good job with the voices. One question though...Is this priest a human? A Demon? Or is he possessed?

The priest is human, but he is possessed.

Before he transforms, he'll look SOMETHING LIKE this.

Lol super quick Alucard edit.

BY THE WAY: I still need a voice actor for Soma. I can't do it, I gave myself a headache doing the first set, and I'm out of time now.

24 Hours makes Homer go BUMP.

HEY GUYS I DON'T KNOW IF YOU NOTICED BUT NONE OF YOU VOLUNTEERED FOR THE JOB YET I THINK YOU MISSED THE PART ABOUT IT AT THE BOTTOM OF THAT POST

Everytime I post I kill a kitten.

Every time you post, I use a phoenix down on a kitten.

Everytime someone spams my topics I die a little inside...

I just killed you.

Every time biohazard posts I die a little inside.

post.

Stilllllllllll neeeeeeeeed a Soma. lol.