Review My Plot Please!! Would You Be interested?

Okay, here goes.....

So your a kid named Ulock Barsod, and your father leaves in the middle of the night to fight a war. Your mother fears he will not return, so she lies and tells you that he is delivering a package for a friend.
She sends you into the woods to find some strawberries, and when you return, there is a messenger at your house relaying the message that your father has fallen in battle. Of course, enraged, Ulock steals a set of old armor that his father used, and takes off for enemy territory. He meets a lot of people along the way( party members ) and some of them have special skills that aid the party, but are not playable. Anywho...... Your father only fell in battle because he wasn't fighting any normal general. He was fighting Thorax Blackheart. A Dark Knight, who dragged him into the depths of hell, before slaying him in a brutal manner. He does appreciate a good challenge , so he lets Ulock know when they meet face to face in the final confrontation, that he respects his father as a warrior for lasting as long as he did, but you will be a different case. ( He'll crush you in one blow!! )

Well.....
How does it sound??

Sounds good.

Better than alot of those "run of mill" story plots. Ah....refreshing.
has potential.

Thnx.

nice story plot i give it a 8.5/10 just cause I wouldn't run right into battle like that, but yea thats a great plot

I like this Thorax Blackheart, And the main character is determined, though a  bit too Impulsive at that point, Would luv to play it =D

Hmm...
Alright, thnx for the tips

I like the idea of many other characters that aren't playable. Perhaps you should have one other main or very special character that fights with Ulock like an ex-soldier of Blackheart or a mysterious girl that Blackheart is after?

Hmm.....

That would definitely deepen the plot

Definately, but your choice.

Sounds like the story of Mulan.

Well...hmm...the idea of revenge seems quite alright, though the progress you wrote (and with the way you wrote) is not logical. Too impulsive. When doing a story it's best to put yourself in the position of your character and that way you can understand what exactly would happen there, depending on the characters psych. I'd also like to add that the main foe is a cliche and a character of that kind of profile would never leave a person to live, train and lately attempt to revenge. That would be rather absurd. You should revise the plot, not making your character going impulsively into war against that man, but rather, creating a good set of chain reactions later in his life that would lead you to discovery of past and that foe.

Hmm.....

If the main bad dude crushes you in one blow, How do you win?

Lol..... e..x..a..g..e..r..a..t..i..o..n!!!!!