Quote Thread

A criminal should wish before getting hanged as his last wish 'Can I Live?'

We wish you a merry Christmas.
BUT WHAT IF YOU DON'T WANNA GET WISHED!

"HOLY HELL"
"WHAT YOU JUST SAID MAY NEVER HAPPEN IN YEARS!

AND NOW THE WWF CHAMPION: JOHN CENA VURSING BATISTA!
So?

The best Job:- GARBAGE COLLECTION!
ALL YOU CAN EAT!

wow that was lame.

Bessie Braddock: "Winston, your drunk! "
Winston Churchill: "Bessie, your ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober"

well there you have it.. that what happens when politicians tell the truth

I like how some are funny and some are insanly morbid. It's like watching Anchorman, only to watch Baxter die right in the middle of it.

ehem...my quote....*drumrole*
"i...i...i...i like swords"
coolguyuno1's famous quote "arguing on the internet is like the special olympics, even if you win youre still retarded"

Qoute by the non-famous.........................me

Laughter is the best medicine, but it can't cure cough and cold.
running away from stupid ppl is insanity, helpful insanity.
Dreams never die.
Dreams come true, all you have to do is what you think is right.
When you can't think of anything..sleep.
Just because you don't have, doesn't mean you won't
Dr. Swordopolis likes swords!
BlueXx can't go a day without giving negative answers to a guy

my FAVORITE of all time
"Your mom!" That's like my reply to everything.

Good reason to date a fat chick- "They're TONS of fun!"
kinda corny, my step-dad said it...
Lead Architect of my new school- "No, we can't put autimated defence turrets there!"

hehe,turrets :twisted:  BWAHAHAHA! *coughs* hmmmmmm i mean funny :wink:

my FAVORITE of all time
"Your mom!" That's like my reply to everything.

An alternative to that can be my favorite, "Your Face!"

ok.. you want to make quote on your own and actually call it a quote? here is one made by me:

"when anyone say "your mom, your face, your omgpwnagewhatevalololololiownyoumeare1337" an angel lose it's wings"

and here is another one:

"it takes a moron to try and be like someone else, it takes a bigger moron not to see another is doing that"

 :twisted:

Don't Ask, Just Understand.

A friend is an angel who helps you fly, when your wings your wings seem to have forgot.

The sword is always sharper in your foe's hand.

Fortune Cookie: Kiss the person next to you...

It was my dad...

"In the stock market you must buy high, and sell low... wait that's not right" ~ Buddboy

"I hat typos" ~ Gamer4Christ

"Be nice to the nerds because later on, you'll be working for them" - Bill Gates

"One World. One Web. One Program." -Microsoft promotional advertisement
"Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer!" -Adolf Hitler

``After three days without programming, life becomes meaningless.'' -- Tao of Programming Book 2

There we go... there is my submission. Enjoy

Qoute by the non-famous.........................me

Dr. Swordopolis likes swords!

nah you think? i mean that must be real hard to come up with....seriously dude where you ever hear that?

okay nuther one oh my quotes

Shutup...

The sword is always sharper in your foe's hand.

touche!

Message to the owner of the black cobra on the parkinglot: youre car is on fire

yay! infenyte said something that made me laugh!
<Dreams Do Come True!!! OF course it wasnt really MY dream...

This is a few quotes from some of my favorite comedians

Lay off, i'm fricken starving here.

Chris Farley :^^:   He passed away

No,you better fix that wall before my dad come's home.

Dane Cook, a joke about Kool-Aid:?

Where'd you get the pink fifties grandma? You cheating wh*re!

Another Dane Cook joke about playing Monopoly.

nuther quote by me

you know a guys retarded when he makes a typo in 1337

hehe! that was pretty funny Sword

1 /-\l\/l 73h 1337357
believe it or not i typed that in 5 sec Im so fluent and since i say that alot i guess its a quote...Obey me! omg i say that alot too
thnx kune-tear here to spread the joy

"Live in your world. G3T PWN3D IN MIN3"

you got that from Jinx

Well not all of them are quotes, but I still think they're funny. (No I didn't make them)

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that's the only time have to work on my hair)

On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with ead-colds off those forklifts)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

lol some of those are awsomeness

i liked "Product will be hot after heating."

and "Not to be used for the other use."
damn i am glad they put that one on or i would have ended up like those people from the last quote
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." XD

"OMGZORZ!!1"-CS:S noob

"im_using_underscore_for_no_reason" -TheBodge

Zxmelee,_why_not_start_a_fan_club?