Dark Lands (Possible name change in future)

This is a new game i'm making. Yea basically the second game (I'm done with Sacred World so i decided to do Dark Lands.) I have done like 7% of it so far. So far i'll give out some information but that'll be all for now. Screenshots coming soon. So far here's the characters that are the party members in demo (Yea some of them are weird but deal with it.)

Story:

20 year ago, The Two world that were connected. In Hadin (Name of the first planet.). There was a Demon Guild, Guild of Powerful Demons. After they have crowned a king. The underwolrd was almost out of space for more demons. So the king made a teleporter and teleported to Sundia (name of the other planet.) so that they can stay. But the people didn't like them so the King and his warriors started to kill everyone. 1 month has passed. half of the population has been killed. Luckily a Hero sealed away the Dark King, which made the demons return to Hadin. But in the present Someone is reviving the Dark King so that they could kill the rest of the people in Sundia and have two planets with all demon. A new hero will discover the orbs and what there purposes are.

Nuko
Sex: Male
Age: 15
Weapon: Axe
Bio: Nuko is a Private of the Shonaks. He was gifted to wield Axes when he was born. He relized this at age 4 when he used his first Axe. His mother died by someone, But no one knew who killed his mother.

Karik
Sex: Male
Age: 16
Weapon: Spear
Bio: Karik is a Private of the Shonkas. He is Nuko's best friend. He once was about to be attacked by a deadly monster known as a Galaton. But it left him. He was scared ever since that monster almost attacked him. He was the highest ranked Private in the group.

Kala
Sex: Female
Age: 15
Weapon: Sword
Bio: Kala is a Guard of Frogal. She is the King's daughter and the smartest one of Frogal. She was kicked out by the King. She thought he hated her and kicked her out. But then she relizes that something is wrong with the King after she regains concession.

Screenshots:


The first battle

Lord's Office (Where you get missions. Basically continuing the storyline.)

A house you must enter to get the mission done.

Demo Completion:

Actor: 60%
Maps: 75%
Skills: 25%
Weapons: 70%
Armor: 60%
Monsters: 80%
Story: 100%
Items: 60%
Music: (Some are extracted from bluelaguna.) 100%
Total: 70%

So far that's all. More coming soon.   

Heya. May I ask, what is the storyline, and what special scripts are you planning to use?

Heya. May I ask, what is the storyline, and what special scripts are you planning to use?

I have the storyline done. But i gotta think on how to say it without making cliches. There will be some scripts. But that will be explain later.

Heya. May I ask, what is the storyline, and what special scripts are you planning to use?

I have the storyline done. But i gotta think on how to say it without making cliches. There will be some scripts. But that will be explain later.

by just reading the waht you have...cliches are in the thousands

I havn't really told you. I horrible at making stories. I'm lucky to think of some good. But it just goes to good to bad.

its alright, if you need someone to be the writer post in the team needed section and ask! 

I already have planned out the story. But i 'm not sure if it just be boring. So tell me what's wrong with their bio. I can change some of them if you don't mind.

if your worried about clinches, for one no sword for the main character...there is a list here on the forum of what you dont want.

Let me guess why the main character can't wield a sword cause it's a clince, people used character who used swords too many time. Can i use daggers if it not too much of a clince?

use a axe, and Ill love you 

Could you give us a little storyline?

Story is on. There may be a change of the story so feedback please to see if there's mistakes.

The story is a bit basic but so is everyone elses. It sounds good.

Screenshots online. More later.

Added a Demo completion to the first post.

The office could be better. Try an indoor mapping tutorial. Just a friendly suggestion.

The office could be better. Try an indoor mapping tutorial. Just a friendly suggestion.

truth, looks like a box.

in mmy game we have an office type thing.

hmm from your screenshots the map looks a lil barren, maybe add some stuff to fill it up more?

It'll be worked on when i decide to start it again. by the time i update it. There will be more screenshots. So wait one day. and you shall received the next day (Chessy line i know.).

Updates.

Added a screenshot.

Updated the Demo Completeion.

don't worry about being really cliche, if your main character
has a sword, big deal.
it's only a weapon.

what you should do is try to take something and make it sound interesting
so that people don't realize it's cliche.
think FF7, Sephiroth wanted to destroy the world, so they dressed it up
and made it look un-cliche
(btw, I basically took all that from the storywriting tutorial)

Well...

Let me start off by saying I can't stand reading your story because of the horrible grammar. =p

I mean, I'm no "Grammar Nazi" and I'm not so good with grammar myself.

Though, it does need touching up. You type as if your using no periods even though you are o-o

It's like... The guy went to the market so he could be a fish so he could take it home and eat it. After he eats the fish he has to throw the bones out so he counter doesn't get messy and his mom doesn't get mad at him so he doesn't have to clean it up later because he got in trouble.

That sounds bad to you right? I sure hope it does.

The story also sounds pretty cliche to me. And the mapping could use improvement. Please, do you see that many square hosues in the real world? I mean at least give it something to make it stand out besides the indoor tileset.

Fine i admit. I am a horrible grammer person. I tried working on it, but i learn nothing. So i'll always have bad grammer.