I'm almost positive I have this problem. I tend to freeze up a lot in social situations, and when people I don't know try to talk to me I usually can't find what words I need to say. It's starting to get on my nerves now, and I was wondering if you guys had any suggestions for getting rid of it.
Oh yeah that happens with everyone, we just cant decide what we need to tell, we're frozen, what if i say this, what if i say that, so you should just be bold, think of dwara(lol anyone actually, or nothing lol) and tell them in their ...head..(not to use face right now) politely.
if you cant think of anything
we dont keep a yes no DWARRA lol.
eventually u'll get over it.
lawl
You need major charisma points, baby! Um, Sims gain charisma by talking to themselves in a mirror, maybe that will work for you?
I wasn't comfortable in social situations until I began to make an active effort in including myself in a conversation. Haha, the number one rule is to not be afraid of saying anything stupid. Even if you do mess up, you can laugh at yourself, which lets everyone know that you're chill.
I'm more worried of saying something rude and hurtful. You see, I'm an asshole. If I don't think before I say something, I usually say something rude.
AS i said on Hamachi, why u are talking to us.(topic freedom on forums but not in real life)
See i know Zypher
Someone who has curly hair and is a mod on spam
But say your name is jonny, I DONT KNOW JONNY.
so when i meet you in real life(say) i'll be worried cuz u can hit me, kill me, (well i'd burn u first but anyways lol)
So when u meet your fellow ppl, think as if its your world and you are free, stand for your opinoin, no ones gonna kill you, (unless your mixed with ciggare smugglin dogz like my dogz friend joe here)
Whenever you are scared/ thinking just think about the thing for a very short time, if someone asks you out and you gotta say no(OMG EXAMPLE MAN)
dont think stuff like "what if"
thats stopped when rm ends lol.
think positive, if you say no, you already got a partner for a ball nothing will happen
but if you say yes, then it wont happen like tv shows, where you gotta juggle 2 ppl, you suffer
and i like it lol
OMG IM SO BAD
BE BRAVE YOUNG WARRIOR AND REMEMBER, not asshole, maybe doghole(lol jk) dont say rude, say no politely, say sorry after no, "No sorry, i have already been asked"
not "No you friggin moron"
remember what you are
IAM RAD
Nightwolf, I will reiterate that most of the time I have no idea what you're talking about.
Quote from: Zypher on November 10, 2006, 01:45:23 PM
I'm more worried of saying something rude and hurtful. You see, I'm an asshole. If I don't think before I say something, I usually say something rude.
Then introduce yourself saying "I'm kind of an asshole, so just point out every time I say something rude." They'll think you're weird, but you can turn it into a humorous bit.
I couldve put it that way to...
Quote from: Zypher on November 10, 2006, 12:42:41 PM
I'm almost positive I have this problem. I tend to freeze up a lot in social situations, and when people I don't know try to talk to me I usually can't find what words I need to say. It's starting to get on my nerves now, and I was wondering if you guys had any suggestions for getting rid of it.
I'm the same, I hardly talk at all to anybody in real life ;-;. Unless of course I force myself to, but who likes doing that.
YOU LONELY SOULS ;_;
well yes, i dont have any problem, but anyways...i dont..u know..
my friend has the same problem, and on top of that a stuttering problem. He has started to get better at speaking to people, and he told me his speech teacher said this:
If your nervous, wait for the other person to speek first before you speak. Notice the type of words they use in their talking. (if they don't cuss then don't cuss back)
I have a cousin with a similar problem like Nouman's friend. Best thing is you follow Yossy's ad Nouman's advice. Also it's good to think what exactly to say before actually talking. It might look like "ZOMG, I don't have time to think half a minute about what to say", but that's not true. Fact is that the brain can decide within only parts of a second what to say. And in the other hand, a second is not very long. Even 2 seconds are nothing.
I used to have this problem. I was so shy. The only thing that really changed everything was the fact that I moved away... It inspired me to turn over a new leaf and start talkig to people. I'm so much happier now, and it's a fact. There are so many things I wouldn't have learned or experienced if I never spoke up.
We should meet each other, you know...
Oh man, where do I begin?
The only time I don't have social anxiety is when I'm at work, and in charge of something. Mainly because I'm teaching high school kids, and I don't care what they think. Then, because it's the kind of job where you have to know what you're doing, but you need a lot of help, I get to boss their parents around as well. :D
Oh, and when I'm with my friends of course, ha.
But at school, I don't talk to anyone, because I don't know anyone, nor, actually, do I even CARE to know any of those people. Well, I have on friend there, but that's beside the point.
And any time I'm around a large number of people, like at an amusement park or something, I start to get sort of an anxiety attack, which I guess is more of a fear of crowds, rather than social anxiety...
Anyway, enough with the random babbling, my entire point for posting was: Once I realized I had this problem, first what happened was I think it got to me, and it started getting worse. Then I started to realize that I don't really care what strangers think of me, and I've started to get better with it. I still have it some, but I'm getting better. Also the not caring might just be me getting older, ha!
My natural arrogance saves me this problem. Basically if anyone doesn't like something I say I am clearly superior to them so it doesn't matter anyways. Of course, when people I actually care about disagree with me it isn't so simple. I tend to be more quiet around people I know than random people because of this.
Quote from: Blizzard on November 10, 2006, 06:38:03 PM
We should meet each other, you know...
LAWL
lol
I maybe had this problem but im 13, so i mustve got over it soon.
I gave debates but in alone talkingim kinda....
shy lol, sometimes, when someone important(not parents or relatives, cuz i talk to them everyday lawl) is in front of me
like a classmate who asks me for a pen but i dun got one...
lawl
Quote from: Nouman6 on November 10, 2006, 02:50:13 PM
my friend has the same problem, and on top of that a stuttering problem. He has started to get better at speaking to people, and he told me his speech teacher said this:
If your nervous, wait for the other person to speek first before you speak. Notice the type of words they use in their talking. (if they don't cuss then don't cuss back)
sure "friend" :V
Quote from: HaloOfTheSun on November 10, 2006, 10:36:04 PM
And any time I'm around a large number of people, like at an amusement park or something, I start to get sort of an anxiety attack, which I guess is more of a fear of crowds, rather than social anxiety...
Oh, oh, I have that! Though, not with an open area like an amusement park. I can hardly step inside a crowded church without feeling queasy, and the same happens (though to a lesser extent) in other crowded buildings (malls, stores, etc.). But churches make me feel sick, and I'm not sure why.
I think my problem is rooted more in claustrophobia than agoraphobia, though.
Quote from: Yossy on November 11, 2006, 12:59:44 PM
Quote from: HaloOfTheSun on November 10, 2006, 10:36:04 PM
And any time I'm around a large number of people, like at an amusement park or something, I start to get sort of an anxiety attack, which I guess is more of a fear of crowds, rather than social anxiety...
Oh, oh, I have that! Though, not with an open area like an amusement park. I can hardly step inside a crowded church without feeling queasy, and the same happens (though to a lesser extent) in other crowded buildings (malls, stores, etc.). But churches make me feel sick, and I'm not sure why.
I think my problem is rooted more in claustrophobia than agoraphobia, though.
lol yeah.
i feel that if i do something ashameful like drop my ice cream or something silly.
i am very causious...i dun wanna be looked by everyone in THAT way
No, my discomfort isn't out of any fear of anything like that. I just feel claustrophobic in churches. Even if they're empty, and have high ceilings and are extremely spacious. Remember that Phobias thread we used to have? I had named churches in there. :P Along with telephones. XD
Quote from: Yossy on November 11, 2006, 12:59:44 PM
Quote from: HaloOfTheSun on November 10, 2006, 10:36:04 PM
And any time I'm around a large number of people, like at an amusement park or something, I start to get sort of an anxiety attack, which I guess is more of a fear of crowds, rather than social anxiety...
Oh, oh, I have that! Though, not with an open area like an amusement park. I can hardly step inside a crowded church without feeling queasy, and the same happens (though to a lesser extent) in other crowded buildings (malls, stores, etc.). But churches make me feel sick, and I'm not sure why.
I think my problem is rooted more in claustrophobia than agoraphobia, though.
I have claustrophobia too. The other day my students gave all hugged me at once, and I was like "GET AWAY!" because I felt trapped and then I started getting dizzy. Of course, there's the whole uncomfort in small rooms and the like too. Except closets, I've hidden in them [insert unapropriate gay joke here] before to jump out and scare people, and I feel fine. I feel fine in churches too, except one time when I passed out.
And then there's a major fear of spiders and heights ... but we're getting slightly off-topic, there's already a phobia thread, lol.
Quote from: Zypher on November 10, 2006, 12:42:41 PM
I'm almost positive I have this problem. I tend to freeze up a lot in social situations, and when people I don't know try to talk to me I usually can't find what words I need to say. It's starting to get on my nerves now, and I was wondering if you guys had any suggestions for getting rid of it.
simple solution in 3 easy steps
1. spend less time online
2. spend more time with other humans
3. dont start a sentense with the words "i hate black people" that will always screw it up
I get nervous around only one person in the world...and it kills everything
what's ur age Nouman6?
15 1/2
You still put 1/2 after your age? Hahaahahaha
Quote from: Westfield on November 12, 2006, 01:04:00 AM
simple solution in 3 easy steps
1. spend less time online
2. spend more time with other humans
3. dont start a sentense with the words "i hate black people" that will always screw it up
lawl, easy explaining.
third points best!!
Quote from: HaloOfTheSun on November 12, 2006, 02:58:37 AM
You still put 1/2 after your age? Hahaahahaha
pretty close to that 16th one so I gota make it show! :D
Erm... what was this topic about again?
You're all insecure.
Everyone except you an me, Gilga. :P
Quote from: Zypher on November 10, 2006, 12:42:41 PM
I'm almost positive I have this problem. I tend to freeze up a lot in social situations, and when people I don't know try to talk to me I usually can't find what words I need to say. It's starting to get on my nerves now, and I was wondering if you guys had any suggestions for getting rid of it.
I had HUGE social anxiety. When I was little if there was a ring at the doorbell I literally hid somewhere. Over the past year I have finally gotten over it. I purposely threw myself into social situations. The first was my step uncle had a wedding reception and I crashed it. i sat at a table with a bunch of strangers (cause I was crashing), so my anxiety was buzzing that night. Then I discovered if I hid behind a camera all night and became the unofficial photographer I would get to meet everyone :-) I just went around and asked if they wanted their photos taken. That led to jokes, or conversations or weird gipsy like people (family of the bride) telling me to get the camera away from them!
The second situation I threw myself into was I have a friend who's girlfriend threw her a surprise birthday party. I only knew my friend and the friend, however both of them were not at the party for the first 3 hours. I found approachable people and stuck with them, once I got cofortable I mingled around.
So just throw yourself into a social situation and you will get over it. The more you are around it, the easier it will be :-)
Lemme say that you're one of the coolest newbies I've seen lately. Thanks.
I used to have this to the extreme, almost to the point of death. i sould starve my self in my dorm @ college for fear of people talking about me. paired with OCD, ADHD & bipolar, i had it really bad.
My problem was the opposite of most peoples, in that my medications were making me paranoid.
luckily, my roomate in college got me to smoke pot. a few months after, i quit all my meds & decided to face every fear i had. so for me, i guess mild hallucinogens solved my problem; but i have been overmedicated since i was a child, to the point of near schizophrenia. it is different for everyone.
Meditation has helped the most, by far.
If i am able to meditate before & after big social situations, i do much better & don't almost have an aneurism. As an actor & singer, that was crucial. deep breath meditation also associates with all of these activities, namly the bong.
But yah, meditation & a change of diet / drugs may be helpful.
before trying anything crazy, i reccomend fasting & education about medication counteractions. always talk to a doctor... but make sure they're sane first.
good luck I hope you feel better.
the crippling fear of social anxiety is no joke & i hope for all taht have it.
just remember to relax... i think most people forget that & pot just reminds me. all sorts of meditative arts are out there from gaming to juggling, just find something you like so much that it overrides the fear.
An odd thing is, I don't seem to be fine when I'm actually performing (music), and don't care if there are crowds of people there. I've performed (not alone, of course,that might be a little different) in front of 5000+ people, but am entirely calm, except for the excitement because of how awesome is. But of course, not everyone is that calm during (and especially before) any sort of performance like that in front of people, and meditation definately seems to help them. Not sure how much that would help Zypher or anyone else here, but it wouldn't hurt to try out.
Quote from: Zypher on November 15, 2006, 04:18:08 AM
Lemme say that you're one of the coolest newbies I've seen lately. Thanks.
Wow thanks!
Quote from: HaloOfTheSun on November 15, 2006, 05:57:13 AM
An odd thing is, I don't seem to be fine when I'm actually performing (music), and don't care if there are crowds of people there. I've performed (not alone, of course,that might be a little different) in front of 5000+ people, but am entirely calm, except for the excitement because of how awesome is. But of course, not everyone is that calm during (and especially before) any sort of performance like that in front of people, and meditation definately seems to help them. Not sure how much that would help Zypher or anyone else here, but it wouldn't hurt to try out.
Yeah, I'm known for how sweet I am at speaking in front of class and not getting nervous about it. Which is the weird part.
Class speaking is gay for me. I am known as a funny person all around, so I can write a dumb essay and it would make the class laugh when I read it. Its getting annoying now in highschool, If i say thw word DOG they laugh...annd the teachers hate it since I have to pause whenever I read, and the class loves it and all, but its getting old.
The thing is Zypher needs to interact more with his non relatives/friends / classmates.
youve not done it before so whenever someone says something like
"Hello"
"Shit..."
Quote from: Nightwolf on November 16, 2006, 09:31:54 AM
The thing is Zypher needs to interact more with his non relatives/friends / classmates.
youve not done it before so whenever someone says something like
"Hello"
"Shit..."
WHAT!?!?
LOL EXAMPLES
It's okay, Halo. I don't understand anything Nightwolf says, either.
Quote from: Yossy on November 16, 2006, 02:11:17 PM
It's okay, Halo. I don't understand anything Nightwolf says, either.
-.-"
Quote from: Yossy on November 16, 2006, 02:11:17 PM
It's okay, Halo. I don't understand anything Nightwolf says, either.
Quoting out of concurnesses. !_!
Quote from: Nightwolf on November 16, 2006, 09:31:54 AM
The thing is Zypher needs to interact more with his non relatives/friends / classmates.
youve not done it before so whenever someone says something like
"Hello"
"Shit..."
This is an Intelligent Debate thread. If you don't have anything intelligent to say, then get out.
Quote from: Zypher on November 16, 2006, 03:31:21 PM
This is an Intelligent Debate thread. If you don't have anything intelligent to say, then get out.
And the start of "Read first: Rules to Intelligent debate" topic.
Quote from: Nightwolf on November 16, 2006, 09:31:54 AM
The thing is Zypher needs to interact more with his non relatives/friends / classmates.
youve not done it before so whenever someone says something like
"Hello"
"Shit..."
that is just a shorter version of what i said. i did say throw yourself into more social interactions and you will get used to it.
Unless your nervous all around. Being in more social conditions won't help too much. Practice on your own time, by yourslef would probally help.
oh and part of my former extreme social anxiety disorder success story is a few times i have become the center of attention (in a posative way) telling jokes or stories. In fact I did something no comedian could ever do. I made cancer funny in a room with 15 people listening to me. It was a string of 30 minutes worth of jokes and stories that led up to the cancer stuff.