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RMRK General => Creativity => Topic started by: Black Breeze on September 26, 2011, 07:12:50 PM

Title: [Writing] My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Black Breeze on September 26, 2011, 07:12:50 PM
So, I'm trying to make a boom with my friends, and to put it simply, It involves time Travel. I researched some of the Theroies (fail) and Paradoxs, but some of them don't make sense. Can anyone help me out by saying it in dumb person and I'll get back to you with the first chapter?
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Jonesy on September 26, 2011, 11:06:49 PM
Before you write a book you should learn to spell. Also, you really need to do your own research.

Edit: Fucking made a typo.  :mad:
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Sophist on September 27, 2011, 12:12:41 AM
What kind of time travel are you looking to do? Going back in time and changing the future?
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Black Breeze on September 27, 2011, 10:33:26 PM
I have done my own research. Time Tourism is one thing I've expalined. And I spell with spellcheck. :P
And for the time travel, it involves going between the past present and future. the past with Magical Beings. Our current present is represented in the steam punk fashion, and future will have multiple versions as we travel in it. I looked into alot of possibilties, but sometimes, it needs to be spoke in dumd person. if anyone could do that, what would be nice.
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Adon on September 27, 2011, 10:37:30 PM
Well, I know what you are trying to say, but you should be knowledgeable about this type of stuff before writing a book about it. Common sense. You should go meet up with your local Astrophysicist/Conspiracy Theorist and discuss. Not joking.
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Black Breeze on September 27, 2011, 11:53:52 PM
I understand enough to have the main concept and write a plot revoling around it. But I'd like to know who you guys understand it. For one, when my charaters go to the past, no matter what they do, nothing changes in the present, because it already happened. And the then the fact that the the future is unperdictable, it changes each times to go there, as i said before. I just want advice. Not critisism. If you want to critise me, wait for the first chapter of the book.
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Mushu on September 27, 2011, 11:57:52 PM
Time travel may have roots in physics but for the most part right now its science fiction. Make up your own concepts and make it interesting, there's not much we can help you with.
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Adon on September 28, 2011, 12:04:21 AM
True. Scalinger's point is mine - criticism.
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Black Breeze on September 28, 2011, 12:32:25 AM
To put the obvios, there never will such a thing as time travel. If something hasn't happened yet, wether it be we create it or a future being makes it, it would've happened. Some idiot would have already come back and announced it.
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Sophist on September 28, 2011, 12:37:59 AM
Quote from: Black Breeze on September 28, 2011, 12:32:25 AM
To put the obvios, there never will such a thing as time travel. If something hasn't happened yet, wether it be we create it or a future being makes it, it would've happened. Some idiot would have already come back and announced it.


That's the stupidest thing i've ever heard. I was going to give you advice but I feel you're being wanton with your stupidity and as such the only time you will get my advice is during NaNoWriMo when i'm feeling like Anski Santa with writing.
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Mushu on September 28, 2011, 12:39:23 AM
Well in physics, at some point, if you go fast enough time slows down in your relative state. If someone traveled far away and came back, they would still be fairly young compared to the people of same age on earth. It was like when superman started spinning around earth really fast 'traveling back in time' and saved someone. I don't know how it works but almost anything is possible with large sums of energy and calculations.
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Black Breeze on September 28, 2011, 12:46:04 AM
See? Was that so hard to dumb down? Wikipedia is useful, if confusing sometimes.
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Black Breeze on September 28, 2011, 12:46:51 AM
And thanks for the dis. I'll just write in silence then, sinc ethat's what you want.
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Mushu on September 28, 2011, 12:49:04 AM
I don't know if alternate realities and teleportation are connected to time travel, but you could toss those in also. lol
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Black Breeze on September 28, 2011, 11:07:25 PM
I do and don't like the spacetime travel idea. It's interesting.
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Acolyte on September 28, 2011, 11:22:06 PM
Don't write a book on something you don't understand. Write what you know.
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Mushu on September 28, 2011, 11:41:20 PM
When has that ever stopped the entertainment business? How often is Hollywood accurate?  8)
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Black Breeze on October 03, 2011, 07:47:37 PM
This is part of the book I thought you might like to a)Critize b) Read c)ignore

Betrayal
Betrayal. That's what I felt. The initial shock ripped through me, just like the round from Orion's gun, now embedded in my arm. Then anger, blind, uncontrollable anger. My magic whipped around, breaking the ground around my feet, Telekinetic magic hefted rocks, ice shards, trees and other shrapnel into the air. Revenge took me. I threw a boulder at Orion, but he dodged it. Stinkin' elite decided to be fast for once. He dodged a tree, and then charged me, head first, The Idiot. I slammed him with a boulder to the chest, causing him to fall to the ground, then the snap of broken ribs. It was comforting, in a sick, twisted way.
   I turned to meet the hocked eyes of Vena, Vero, and Ailey. Paranoia took me as I returned their stare. Were they in on it? Did they plan of betraying me too? They let him shoot me! They could've stopped him! SHE could've stopped him! My rage jumped to a climax. I sent ice shards at Vero, a massive tree at Vena, and a storm of razor sharp rocks and Ailey. Vero melted the ice shards with a pyro-burst, leaving a puddle of water at his feet. I didn't think that would get him. Vena jumped on the tree and ran on it. At the end of it, she jumped high into the air, going to land on top of me. I slammed her with my enhanced arm, causing her to go through a tree. 2 down. I turned to see the pebble storm had been destroyed, littering the ground with dust at Ailey's feet.
"Not bad," I said to her, "for a girl." She glares at me. "You surprised me, but not being defeated that. I thought, 'That'll get her, for sure'"
She raised her (weapon), her eyes seeming to burn with a lust for revenge.
"To bad... I hope you have a good nap, Ailey," I say, as I slam a rock to the side of her head, then I watch her fall to the ground.
I turn. Vero. Only Vero, my best friend is left.
"Itzal, what's wrong with you?! Have you gone mad?!" He yells, his eyes show anger and pain.
"You betrayed me!" I yell back, "All of you! You planned this from the very beginning! You used me!"
"Get it through your thick head already! We wouldn't do that!"
Wouldn't you?! You'd go behind my back! You all would! You are the closet things I have to family and you all betrayed me!" I scream as I open the ground around him, binding him within the earth. I walk away. I walk, and walk, until my feet bleed. After 100 miles, I stopped. I tremble, as if I'm cold, but it's rage, I yell into the wind, my magic ripping away from me, killing all life within 10 miles. I, on the downside, am still living.
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Acolyte on October 03, 2011, 10:00:55 PM
There are several misuses of commas, run on sentences, and I don't even understand what's supposed to be going on at all. You've explained next to nothing about any of the characters' personalities or motivations. Some guy shot the main character and he suddenly wants to kill his friends. What's the background behind all this? Why did the other guy shoot this guy? Why would he suddenly want to kill his friends without even talking to them about the situation first? They're "The closest thing he has to family" and he can't even give them half a second to explain themselves before hurling a bunch of crap at them? 
Also, what does this have to do with time travel? ¯\(º_ o)/¯
Title: Re: My Failure of trying to create a book.
Post by: Sophist on October 03, 2011, 11:44:32 PM
Quote from: Black Breeze on October 03, 2011, 07:47:37 PM
This is part of the book I thought you might like to a)Critize b) Read c)ignore

Betrayal
Betrayal. That's what I felt. The initial shock ripped through me, just like the round from Orion's gun, now embedded in my arm. Then anger, blind, uncontrollable anger. My magic whipped around, breaking the ground around my feet, Telekinetic magic hefted rocks, ice shards, trees and other shrapnel into the air. Revenge took me. I threw a boulder at Orion, but he dodged it. Stinkin' elite decided to be fast for once. He dodged a tree, and then charged me, head first, The Idiot. I slammed him with a boulder to the chest, causing him to fall to the ground, then the snap of broken ribs. It was comforting, in a sick, twisted way.
   I turned to meet the hocked eyes of Vena, Vero, and Ailey. Paranoia took me as I returned their stare. Were they in on it? Did they plan of betraying me too? They let him shoot me! They could've stopped him! SHE could've stopped him! My rage jumped to a climax. I sent ice shards at Vero, a massive tree at Vena, and a storm of razor sharp rocks and Ailey. Vero melted the ice shards with a pyro-burst, leaving a puddle of water at his feet. I didn't think that would get him. Vena jumped on the tree and ran on it. At the end of it, she jumped high into the air, going to land on top of me. I slammed her with my enhanced arm, causing her to go through a tree. 2 down. I turned to see the pebble storm had been destroyed, littering the ground with dust at Ailey's feet.
"Not bad," I said to her, "for a girl." She glares at me. "You surprised me, but not being defeated that. I thought, 'That'll get her, for sure'"
She raised her (weapon), her eyes seeming to burn with a lust for revenge.
"To bad... I hope you have a good nap, Ailey," I say, as I slam a rock to the side of her head, then I watch her fall to the ground.
I turn. Vero. Only Vero, my best friend is left.
"Itzal, what's wrong with you?! Have you gone mad?!" He yells, his eyes show anger and pain.
"You betrayed me!" I yell back, "All of you! You planned this from the very beginning! You used me!"
"Get it through your thick head already! We wouldn't do that!"
Wouldn't you?! You'd go behind my back! You all would! You are the closet things I have to family and you all betrayed me!" I scream as I open the ground around him, binding him within the earth. I walk away. I walk, and walk, until my feet bleed. After 100 miles, I stopped. I tremble, as if I'm cold, but it's rage, I yell into the wind, my magic ripping away from me, killing all life within 10 miles. I, on the downside, am still living.


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