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RMRK General => Creativity => Topic started by: Zylos on February 19, 2009, 03:59:01 PM

Title: [Writing] The One Who Is Torn Apart
Post by: Zylos on February 19, 2009, 03:59:01 PM
Something I whipped up quickly for a school project. Took the themes of one of my stronger game ideas and made it into a "visual poem", since few people ever seem to take the time read things anymore. It's only after turning it in that I realized there was a typo in there, but I don't think it'll dock me any points.


(https://rmrk.net/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi254.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fhh99%2FZylos_2007%2FTorn_Apart.png&hash=985e83c79dbdc502dcbfcff275c66790cc5696db)
Title: Re: The One Who Is Torn Apart
Post by: tSwitch on February 19, 2009, 04:10:54 PM
that's interesting, though a bit awkward how the rhythm changes so often
Title: Re: The One Who Is Torn Apart
Post by: Zylos on February 20, 2009, 04:22:16 AM
Considering that it was made literally 10 minutes before it was due, I think it came out pretty good. <.<
Title: Re: The One Who Is Torn Apart
Post by: ahref on March 10, 2009, 09:44:31 PM
i cant read it on the right side :(
Title: Re: The One Who Is Torn Apart
Post by: Nightwolf on March 18, 2009, 01:06:08 PM
I can, and its nice


What was the...what do they say in your English, inspiration?


.-.
Title: Re: The One Who Is Torn Apart
Post by: Kathryn on March 18, 2009, 10:54:31 PM
I can't either to tell the truth  ;9

Well, i can read it but because of all the effort i'm actually putting into reading it i sort of miss the point. I just sort of concentrate on making out the letters, and then i try to think about what i just read and i gots nothing ;o;

So yes. I can't read it. Interesting concept though XD
Title: Re: The One Who Is Torn Apart
Post by: Zylos on March 19, 2009, 02:17:12 AM
The settings on my monitor must be enough so I can see it but you can't. <_<

Well, for those who're having problems reading it:

Quote from: The One Who Is Torn Apart

Here I stand for all to see
Trapped in the garden of Gethsemane
With His almighty eyes staring at me
As I whisper my silent soliloquy.

As I gaze into the starry sky
I stop to ask Him the infamous "Why?"
But as always he does not reply
Yet my heart refuses to let Him die.

While he lives I cannot reach my goal
And my heart not be mine to control
The two parts that were once whole
Listen to the requiem of my broken soul.

Pulled between two forms of art
The life that is and the life I wish to start
Twixt two worlds that crucify my heart
I am the one who is torn apart.
Title: Re: The One Who Is Torn Apart
Post by: Nightwolf on March 20, 2009, 05:14:27 PM
you guys need glasses
it couldn't be clearer



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