Just had some inspiration for short piano part, give it a listen. Tell me what you think.
I think I can possibly imagine this working for a side (or gag) character introduction or the like. The biggest thing working against the song in my mind is its tendency toward abruptly changing meter- for example, around the 3 or 4 second mark, that eighth note triplet at the end of the measure throws a rather large stick in the proverbial cog, so to speak.
But as a general rule, I try to keep negative critiquing to a minimum on songs that are short. Without the entire frame of reference, it's impossible to say whether something might work later on where it wouldn't have otherwise. So aside from what I've already said, I'm mostly interested in the last 4 or so seconds of the song. To me, that's where it really started to get interesting.
I thought it was pretty good.