Music.
The second half sounds a little awkward.
Yeah, I know but I was too lazy to change it :3 The ending of the second half and the weird 5 on the E-string kinda sounds off, but whatever. :V
There is no E-string, it's not a guitar.
If you're too lazy to make something good then quit writing music now please.
;-;
Also, there is an E-string. I'm using Tabit so I'm refering to the E-string on the tab. >_> It would be an A but it's not like people are going to go "Oh, that note was definitely an A." People who use Tabit or even know tabs and open up the .tbt will know what the 5 on the E-string is :P
This is so difficult to criticize because you haven't improved a bit since you started writing, so it's like any advice I could give would just be in vain. But here you go. Hope this helps.
- This is stupidly simple. Add something to fill up the empty space.
- Your melody is uninteresting and unoriginal. Try not sitting on top of an A major scale the entire time.
- One-track songs are certainly okay in situations, but if there's only one track then you need to do SOMETHING so it doesn't sound like a 5 year old taking piano lessons.
- What was the point of the time signature changes? Was there any point at all?
- That tempo change at the end has to be one of the most pointless things I've seen in my several years of music writing.
It's not all bad, though. The title is perfect, because the song nearly put me to sleep.
But seriously, I'll echo Halo; if you're not even going to attempt to write good music, I don't expect to see a thread of yours in here again.
:\ Fine. I'll change it. >_> Also, I'm attempting to write good music but it's not like I can fucking pull it out of my ass like you guys do. Also, the point of the time signature changes was because I felt like the rests in between were way too long while still in 4 over 4. The tempo change at the end was for pretty much the same for when it loops. Like I said, this was meant for a loop.
EDIT: Now that I think of it, I feel like this topic should belong in the Resources section for RM. Regardless, I'm going to try to add some other instruments.
1. Don't listen to these cunts, this has potential.
2. This could be more than just some stupid little diddy for a videogame, you could turn this into, I dunno, a real piano and string quartet piece.
3. Space is good, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
4. I like the time signature changes, it goes well with the space. If melodies and shit were flying all over the place and making the piece complicated, then yeah, they wouldn't work, but the direction I think you should take this is a very laid-back, almost free-tempo piece. It works well as 3 bars of 4/4, and then a bar or 3/4 (or 6/8).
5. The melody is a little stock, but some people try way too hard to be original with melodies. Work with it a little, but not too hard to make it different. If you can't seem to get anywhere, try the other route; making everything else interesting. Like the chords that play underneath, or add some flare with echoes or other things. Add another melody to compliment it, but make it stand back a little, taking a back-seat to the original melody, if you will.
See attached:
Okay, then it'll stay a regular .tbt. I'll actually expand upon it.
EDIT: After hearing arl's edition, I feel discouraged. D: It's too good. Anything I try to make will come out much worse. Bleh. Let's see how I go about it, though. I do feel like arl's just trying to make me feel better from my crash. ;-; OR MAYBE LIKE LAST TIME YOU'LL BETRAY ME ;-; All you super mods and admins do that. Halo with the 7yay thing. Ryan with his "stop saying moo fails" and pulling out the sign on me. ;-;
EDIT (again):
Quote from: Malson on April 02, 2008, 07:27:41 PM
- Your melody is uninteresting and unoriginal. Try not sitting on top of an A major scale the entire time.
I don't think about scales. I just choose the notes and then I go along with it, pretty much ad-libbing until it sounds good and then sometimes it just flows out~
Dude, I made those additions in, like, less than 50 seconds.
Just learn from the concepts, and the ideas I'm using. Like what I wrote in the actual tab, and the reason why I added the what I did and stuff.
Oh, and I do agree with one thing the others said; stop being so lazy. Write something, and write A LOT of it. I mean, it's cool if you want to run a sketch by us, but give us a little more next time, I guess.
Alright. I'll take all of you guys' comments and feedback and flame ( ;-; ) and use it for the future. Also, the fact that you made those additions in less than 50 seconds just shows how much better you are. No doubt you found out the chords that went with the scale I was using (that I did not even bother to find out >_> ). Maybe I should try putting what little knowledge of music theory I have into my songs :\
Quote from: Arlen on April 02, 2008, 08:51:15 PM
1. Don't listen to these cunts, this has potential.
I don't remember ever saying it didn't have potential. Moo's definitely musically inclined, as I can tell by the fact his scales are perfect without any theoretical knowledge of it. But praising what few things he has right in this tab isn't going to help him get anywhere with writing, and it's been proven by how he hasn't gotten anywhere with writing. My comments were all meant to be constructive, because I want him to be good, but his apathetic nature towards it isn't something I can help with.
Apathetic or just pathetic? :3
Anyways, I did even believe that this had potential but I couldn't really think of a way to bring it out before. :P And hey! I did get somewhere with writing. ;-; Just not very far. I'm able to make pieces now that actually make sense.
First post edited with just one word and updated Tabit. No new .midi. There's a tubular bell but I'm wondering whether I should keep it (probably will and probably will decrease its volume a little more) and whether I should add a reverb (probably will, if I keep it).
EDIT: Oh yeah, I know how to compose scales (mostly only major and minor) but the problem is although I get the notes, they usually don't sound good. Like the rhythm and the melody is just bleh.
;o; My comment was in reference to:
Quote from: mastermoo420 on April 01, 2008, 11:47:43 PM
Yeah, I know but I was too lazy to change it :3
In which case why bother at all? If you know something isn't good but you're too lazy to try and improve upon it then there's no point in even writing the song.
I do agree with Malson on one part, that the tempo change is pointless. I don't see any reason to double the tempo value when you can just cut the note value in half and get the same effect. But it's not like it really matters unless you were writing this for performance, which you are seemingly not.
Keep the meter changes, they make sense musically. And I like most of the melody, aside from a couple of notes. Rests are an important tool, so don't worry about the space. But if you did want to fill it out a bit I personally would either go with what Arlen suggested, or maybe just add an acoustic guitar. But if you're just wanting to keep this as a little videogame piece (=/) then be careful not to add too much.
Quote from: mastermoo420 on April 03, 2008, 12:54:46 AM
EDIT: Oh yeah, I know how to compose scales (mostly only major and minor) but the problem is although I get the notes, they usually don't sound good. Like the rhythm and the melody is just bleh.
There's no rule that says you have to stay in a specific key. Write what sounds good to YOU. That's the most important thing.
I'll think about adding an acoustic guitar... Not sure. I kinda hate myself for using a combination of Rhodes/Grand piano, guitar, drums, or strings in pretty much all my songs. :3 But I'll see ;8 Like you said. It's what sounds good to me.
I'm also getting pestered with "you're staying in one key. go make a change" lately. Like in Devil's Dance. >_> <_<
There's a difference between key changes and writing in a specific key. You can write in modes if you want; you could make every D flat and everything else natural.
Erm, maybe I just don't get what you mean when you say
Quote from: mastermoo420 on April 03, 2008, 12:54:46 AM
EDIT: Oh yeah, I know how to compose scales (mostly only major and minor) but the problem is although I get the notes, they usually don't sound good. Like the rhythm and the melody is just bleh.
Anyway, key changes are a good way to add color to your music, but it isn't mandatory. The advice anyone gives you here, while useful and you should generally at least try it out, is going to be rooted in how they would write it themselves. If you, as the composer, feel a key change isn't necessary even when everyone else tells you there should be one, then don't add one.
Sometimes I do feel it is necessary and I actually have good thoughts for one but I always fail in doing it ;-; Lol
Also, I don't know what modes are. :P The only music theory I've learned is really basic stuff.
lol moo, when someone gives you a advice, don't defend yourself. You should take it and if you say this
QuoteI'm 2 lazy 2 change it lulz ;-;
add this:-
Quote:V
Even if you don't mean it.
your version was pretty good and i do think you have improved sotra. Only the ending was a little weird.
Arlens version was nice too. Try adding more to his ^_^
Quote from: Nightwolf on April 05, 2008, 12:09:51 PM
lol moo, when someone gives you a advice, don't defend yourself. You should take it and if you say this
QuoteI'm 2 lazy 2 change it lulz ;-;
add this:-
Quote:V
Even if you don't mean it.
kk
Quote
your version was pretty good and i do think you have improved sotra. Only the ending was a little weird.
Arlens version was nice too. Try adding more to his ^_^
Yeah, the last bar, is really weird. I've listened through the song a couple of times to see where I could go but I keep on noticing the last bar or two is really weird. Also, I suck with adding on to other people's stuffs ;-;
w00t. 9 month necropost because I've started to write music a bit again because I felt like it. :P And this was one I edited a bit more.
Any feedback?
I personally liked the idea I had at bar 25 and on but I feel like the transition and actual follow-through with it wasn't sufficient. ;-;
Also, if I continue this, I do plan on adding more instruments and I hope they aren't crap additions. ;-;
Nobody who comes here regularly uses tabit, aside from Roph, who doesn't really write anymore, and Arlen, who doesn't really post anymore.
:P Forgot about that. My bad.
Putting midi up.
EDIT: Wuddabout NW and Malson?
EDIT: I find it to be almost done (in terms of length) with, like I've said, the additions of instruments and stuff. Yet, I really need to incorporate different melodies... :P
Very busy with study and life but, I do use tabit. Maybe once a week for an hour or two but yeah, when I have time.
To be truthful, I actually don't remember how your older version was because I over-wrote it and all. This isn't bad, the bells are good but I don't like that there are so many. Cut out a few random ones in the middle, it may sound better.
coolio =3
kk. Thanks for the feedback. ;8 I'll probably be taking a lot of stuff out since I thought it was empty but with the addition of instruments, it'll probably make up for that.
I thought it sounded sweet, and fits well as a lullaby - Lullabies are usually simple and don't have that many modulations anyhow. :P There were some parts where he chord is a bit off from the melody (or vice versa); it's something you'll probably get in touch with as you go.
Yeah, I do notice some chords are off (especially that last one... I had MUCH trouble with that... so I kinda used a regular major chord but it's off. I'll need to fix it some time later. >_> ) and I'll need to play the song back a few times to hear the wrong parts and see how they go.