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RMRK General => Creativity => Topic started by: Kokowam on December 15, 2007, 05:12:44 PM

Title: [Writing] Quickie
Post by: Kokowam on December 15, 2007, 05:12:44 PM
I made this poem really quickly. I had an idea in mind and then I made it in a couple of minutes. I've never been one for poetry, but meh. I just wanted to get some feedback on it. I also don't have a name for it. I kinda suck at names. I actually kinda tried for a bit for the parallel structure :P

Wasteland

My legs lost their strength as
I struggled to take another step.

My stomach roared with hunger as
I felt it violently shake.

My arms froze and
I realized they refused to obey my will.

My conciousness slipped from me as
I noticed the darkness engulf me.

My ears were frozen to the point where
I could almost feel them fall off.

My journey was soon to come to an end while
I watched myself freeze to death in the snow.

But worst of all,
My heart was crushed and my soul was torn in two.

Credits to Forcytus for the title. ;8 Not sure if it's the best but it isn't the worst and I can't really think of anything else. ;8
Title: Re: Quickie
Post by: The.Muffin.King on December 19, 2007, 12:21:32 AM
When hearing the title quickie, i got the impression of something sexual, i was disapointed.
Title: Re: Quickie
Post by: Kokowam on December 19, 2007, 01:54:05 AM
LOL. Sorry. I made a quickie sexual story concerning a man named "Ryan" and a woman named "Kate" before, lol.
Title: Re: Quickie
Post by: Forty on December 23, 2007, 03:16:51 AM
a good title would be "Wasteland"
Title: Re: Quickie
Post by: Sophist on December 23, 2007, 03:41:13 AM
Sounds emo.































CRRAAAWWWWWLLLIIINNNNGGGG IIINNNNNN MMYYYYYYY SKKKKKKKIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN



:V
Title: Re: Quickie
Post by: Kokowam on December 23, 2007, 01:33:37 PM
What happened to disliking people who described other things as "emo"? :D
Title: Re: Quickie
Post by: Sophist on December 23, 2007, 04:28:26 PM
No, it's because 13 year olds can't think of a better insult or something to say.

"my sister just died in a car crash, this is so depressing."

"lol emo"