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RMRK General => Creativity => Topic started by: JAP on October 05, 2007, 12:18:36 PM

Title: [Visual] Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: JAP on October 05, 2007, 12:18:36 PM
Okay, I made this last September and think that I should show it to RMRKers. Because I love you ppl! xDDDD
It's the cover of my shoujo-ai webcomic, i n n o c e n c e.
(https://rmrk.net/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fh1.ripway.com%2Fjap0911%2Fi%2520n%2520n%2520o%2520c%2520e%2520n%2520c%2520e%2F2e4f00b05344.jpg&hash=b91289752520ebbbad236d8bd31f42c0e3c1c9be)
I just get used to color things with Photoshop... But I need to improve!! BTW I lineart and sketch manually. Only the coloring's done in comp.
I want a tablet badly now
Comments, critiques!! HAIL!!
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: Nightwolf on October 05, 2007, 12:29:40 PM
It's pretty cool, like the words on the white shirted girl's shirt, they fit in pretty good. I realised the purple things are a mountain type of things, but whats purple things near the white-shirty? All those purple things with yellow tops?
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: JAP on October 05, 2007, 12:34:15 PM
Oh, I used purple flower patterns for that. It seemed to turn out ugly. xD

Thanks though. =D
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: Leventhan on October 05, 2007, 12:39:05 PM
The skirt looks blurry.

But awesome job!
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: JAP on October 05, 2007, 12:42:19 PM
Thanks, Leven-san!! =D
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: biohazard on October 05, 2007, 10:02:35 PM
Is it just me, or near her hip does it say love is desu? if so, lulz.
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: Nightwolf on October 06, 2007, 03:34:39 AM
It does...

NOW I REALISED THOSE ARE FLOWERS IN A BOX. Zoooooom halpz.
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: JAP on October 06, 2007, 04:28:11 AM
Yesh, love is desu. XDDDDD

But, not, actually it said love is desire, but the cloth line's bumped on it, so yeah. xDDD
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: Sophist on October 06, 2007, 04:41:01 AM
desu desu desu desu.


I like the picture. :3










(is it because I am a girl?)
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: JAP on October 06, 2007, 05:11:54 AM
Nah, my friend is a girl but she hate it. =O Well can't blame her she's a doofus after all. She always said eveyone's drawing is worse than hers.

EDIT:
Here's second work. It's the design of the new RPG I'm going to make.

EDIT2: Removed it. Sorry. Just don't fit my wants. Thanks.
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: Leventhan on October 06, 2007, 10:15:09 AM
lol Love is Desu.
Hm.. her colours looks to similar.
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: JAP on October 07, 2007, 12:45:01 AM
Yeah, but I work more on the shading...

Not much difference? O.o
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: Lord Dante on October 09, 2007, 12:47:06 AM
I can't see the second one.
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: JAP on October 09, 2007, 07:05:32 AM
Opps sorry I just deleted it because I just changed the design of the character, slightly. I hate coloring with mouse. T_T Well, like what Leventhan said, it's not much different from the first one.
Whaddya think about the first one, Lord Dante? =D
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: Lord Dante on October 10, 2007, 03:57:04 AM
Well, and this isn't supposed to be harsh, mind you-

Girl on left- Personally, this generic anime style is a little too...how to put it... abundant. That isn't to say this drawing is bad, but I personally would love to see you develop a more individualized way of portraying your characters. Actually, that point applies to the entire work.
However, to me it looks as though her neck is too skinny to be that long, but she's a pretty skinny girl anyways, so that's more of a personal preference than a legitimate critique.

The only technical problem i can spot is that the second (rightmost) girl's legs are waaay too short. The upper part of her legs, which are horizontal, should extend out more, thusly decreasing the inward angle of the leg bend to have the foot end up in the same position as it is now.
The hands are probably one of the most amazing aspects of this, and that is, believe it or not, saying alot, as hands are one of the most difficult things to draw in any style (except maybe chibi :P)

I'll also suggest that you use the floral pattern you obtained as a reference for your own patterning, as it'll undoubtedly fit the pleats on the skirt better if you draw it yourself.
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: JAP on October 10, 2007, 05:42:36 AM
Quote from: Lord Dante on October 10, 2007, 03:57:04 AM
Well, and this isn't supposed to be harsh, mind you-

Girl on left- Personally, this generic anime style is a little too...how to put it... abundant. That isn't to say this drawing is bad, but I personally would love to see you develop a more individualized way of portraying your characters. Actually, that point applies to the entire work.
However, to me it looks as though her neck is too skinny to be that long, but she's a pretty skinny girl anyways, so that's more of a personal preference than a legitimate critique.

The only technical problem i can spot is that the second (rightmost) girl's legs are waaay too short. The upper part of her legs, which are horizontal, should extend out more, thusly decreasing the inward angle of the leg bend to have the foot end up in the same position as it is now.
The hands are probably one of the most amazing aspects of this, and that is, believe it or not, saying alot, as hands are one of the most difficult things to draw in any style (except maybe chibi :P)

I'll also suggest that you use the floral pattern you obtained as a reference for your own patterning, as it'll undoubtedly fit the pleats on the skirt better if you draw it yourself.

Lord Dante-sama!!!! I LOVEEEE YOUUUUU!!!
No, this is not a joke, this is very serious. I really really thank you for the amazing and detailed critique.
=)
About the hands, well, personally, I'm proud of my drawing of hands!! =D I really love to draw hands, and yes, feet are my problems. =)
Thank you very much!! I'll do my best to improve each day~! <3
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: Lord Dante on October 11, 2007, 03:44:52 AM
Quote from: jap0911 on October 10, 2007, 05:42:36 AM
Quote from: Lord Dante on October 10, 2007, 03:57:04 AM
Well, and this isn't supposed to be harsh, mind you-

Girl on left- Personally, this generic anime style is a little too...how to put it... abundant. That isn't to say this drawing is bad, but I personally would love to see you develop a more individualized way of portraying your characters. Actually, that point applies to the entire work.
However, to me it looks as though her neck is too skinny to be that long, but she's a pretty skinny girl anyways, so that's more of a personal preference than a legitimate critique.

The only technical problem i can spot is that the second (rightmost) girl's legs are waaay too short. The upper part of her legs, which are horizontal, should extend out more, thusly decreasing the inward angle of the leg bend to have the foot end up in the same position as it is now.
The hands are probably one of the most amazing aspects of this, and that is, believe it or not, saying alot, as hands are one of the most difficult things to draw in any style (except maybe chibi :P)

I'll also suggest that you use the floral pattern you obtained as a reference for your own patterning, as it'll undoubtedly fit the pleats on the skirt better if you draw it yourself.

Lord Dante-sama!!!! I LOVEEEE YOUUUUU!!!
No, this is not a joke, this is very serious. I really really thank you for the amazing and detailed critique.
=)
About the hands, well, personally, I'm proud of my drawing of hands!! =D I really love to draw hands, and yes, feet are my problems. =)
Thank you very much!! I'll do my best to improve each day~! <3
Heh.
I get a "sama" title. Woot.
:P
Yeah, well, any time. I used to give it to Lavata but I haven't seen him or his work around lately, so...*shrug*
Can't wait to see your improved work though ^^
Title: Re: Jappy's very first CGed artwork
Post by: Leventhan on October 11, 2007, 03:47:14 AM
Looking forward to your next work!
;D