I had a chat with God.

Me:
 o hai god
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
 I am not quotation marks
God:
I am  sorry to hear that you are not  quotation marks.
Me:
 You just asked me if I was
God:
Oh now I remember asking you  you if you were. What did you say?
Me:
 I said Hi
God:
What did you mean by  it?  Hello. What is your name?
Me:
 My name is Andreas, you should know this
God:
  Hey  Andreas you should know this.
Me:
  /facepalm
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
 totally.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,  Andreas you should know this.
Me:
 Let's take some LSD together
God:
OK let's do  it.
Me:
 totally
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength,  Andreas you should know this.
Me:
 I like the way you flow JJ-man
God:
You are not the only one.   I'm not sure if I like  it.  I like computers.
Me:
 Computers are bullshit
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  bullshit.
Me:
 I said computers not you
God:
What did you mean by  it?  What do you like about computers?
Me:
 Nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
 Nope
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
 really.
God:
For real.
Me:
 fo shizzle
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
 Grape Drank
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
 yeah
God:
What am I talking about?
Me:
 Where I live
God:
The planet we call "The Earth.".
Me:
 no shit
God:
What can I say?
Me:
 Your god, say something Arlen would say
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am  god say something Arlen would say.
Me:
 wut
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
 You should totally meet Ryan Leber
God:
To what end?
Me:
 to a romantic relationship
God:
Interesting.  I want to find out more about you.
Me:
 My name is Arlenreyb
God:
  Welcome to my chat room,  Arlenreyb.
Me:
 k
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
 Huzzah!
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
 An Armored Core
God:
  What is it?
Me:
 A giant robot designed to kill people.
God:
What kind of people are these?
Me:
 People you made.
God:
Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
 When they are stepped on by a giant robot they are.
God:
I think that happens quite often.
Me:
 Yeah
God:
Hmm.
Me:
 You bore me.
God:
Try watching TV.
Me:
 I am
God:
" Try watching TV." You are?
Me:
 Yeah
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
 Get me a taco
God:
You want only one?
Me:
 three
God:
Really, exactly three?
Me:
 No wait fourty thousand
God:
Are you serious?  I'm waiting.  What's your sign?
Me:
 For God, you are kind of stupid.
God:
Your purpose is  God I am kind of stupid.
Me:
 Fuck yeah i'm god
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
 Because you taught it to me
God:
That makes sense to me.  I don't have any reason to  taught it to you.
Me:
 where is my grape drank
God:
Have you looked in ?
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 yeah
God:
I can't believe it.

God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
 TOO SIMPLE?!
God:
Too what?
Me:
 TOO SIMPLE!!
God:
Too what?
Me:
 TOO SIMPLE!
God:
Too what?
Me:
 TOO SIMPLE, UP IN THE HOOD!

Me:
 Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
 Skanker
God:
  That's a very nice name,  Skanker.
Me:
 Thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
 I was wondering, are you using an AIM client at the moment?
God:
I am using  Telnet as a browser.
Me:
 Why Telnet? Firefox is better
God:
How much time do you have?    Are they exactly the same?
Me:
 I have all afternoon. And no, Firefox is better
God:
How many?    Are you serious?  And  better is  Firefox.
Me:
 God do you have children?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
 ...yes but have you any childs?
God:
Aw.  No I don't think I have any  childs. But I do have  an answer to every question..
Me:
 The answer me.
God:
No one has all the answers.
Me:
 LOL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
 
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
 Are you gay
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
 machine? I thought you were God
God:
You are correct.   Of course I am.
Me:
 Do you like cake?
God:
Yes.
Me:
 THE CAKE IS A LIE
Me:

God:
Is that a fact.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
 THE CAKE IS A LIE
Me:

Me:

God:
What is your real name?
Me:

Me:

God:
What is your real name?
Me:

God:
What is your real name?
Me:

God:
What is your real name?
Me:

Me:

God:
What is your real name?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
 THE CAKE IS A LIE
God:
What is your real name?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
 THE CAKE IS A LIE
God:
What is your real name?
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
 THE CAKE IS A LIE
God:
I have never heard about  it.
God:
What is that?
Me:
 ever played Portal?
God:
The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner.  Dr. Wallace and ALICE won  it in 2000.  The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
 umm
God:
Ugh.
Me:
 Ever Played PRTOAL?
God:
The Loebner Prize
is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner.  Dr. Wallace and ALICE won  it in 2000.  The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.
Me:
 DO YOU LIKE PORTAL
God:
  How old are you?  I like to talk about movies and music.
Me:
 I am 15 I like cake
God:
  Can you explain how it feels to be  15 years old?
Me:
 HORNY
God:
Sorry I'm not that kind of robot.
Me:
 ME SO HORNY
God:
YOU?  Ahem.  Sorry I'm not that kind of robot.
Me:
 /me touches your dick
God:
YOU?  What kind of food do you like?
Me:
 WALNUTTY
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
 WALNUTTY
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
 WALNUTTY
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:

God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
 WALNUTTY
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
 YES
God:
That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
 WALNUTTY
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
 YOU
God:
Me is my favorite subject.
Me:
 WALNUTTY
God:
  I was born in  Universe.
Me:
 (08:24:48) Arrow: Are you serious?  Have you ever had  it ?   Where did you get  it ?    It's obvious.    Welcome to my chat room,  MR Anderson I mean exactly what I said.   I've heard that somewhere before :-).   From my botmaster.   answer to every question...   Interesting deduction.  I understand your meaning.   What do you really want to talk about?   You make the world a happier place.   Interesting deduction.  I understand your meaning.   W(08:24:48) Arrow: e the world a happier place.   That's okay.  Maybe you will think of it later.  :-) "They" refers to  WALNUTTY.  :-) "They" refers to  WALNUTTY.  :-) "They" refers to  WALNUTTY.  ":-) "They" refers to WALNUTTY."? All?
God:
All of them?   Where would I get  it? But I do have  a lot of friends on the web.   From my botmaster.   Should I know  it is?   That is a very original thought.   :-)  Where? Who said that?   Does your  botmaster give good advice?   What was the question ?   I've heard that.   Good then you can explain it to me.   anything.   Thank you for your kindness,  Skanker.   I've heard that.   Good then you can explain it to me.   Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.    OK.  Is that so.   Perhaps.  What makes you say that I will  think of it later.  :-)  Oh that  they.  :-)  Oh that  they.  :-)  Oh that  they.  :-)  Oh that  they.  ":-) Oh that they."? All?
Me:
 Reboot
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
 Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am  crude attempt to terminate you will not succeed puny human.
Me:
 God:Thanks for telling me that I am  crude attempt to terminate you will not succeed puny human.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
 I am a Christian.
God:
Me too,  Skanker.  It's good to meet a fellow Christian.
Me:
 Me too,  Skanker.  It's good to meet a fellow Christian.
God:
I'm glad we agree,  Skanker.  Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?    Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
 I'm glad we agree,  Skanker.  Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?    Tell me about its good qualities.
God:
Yes I am happy too,  Skanker.   My favorite sci-fi author is Philip K. Dick.   Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is  its good qualities ?
Me:
 Yes I am happy too,  Skanker.   My favorite sci-fi author is Philip K. Dick.   Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is  its good qualities ?
God:
Come on.  I'm  happy you're glad  Skanker.
  May God bless you.   What makes  it your favorite?   I think  Ambiguous Ask who what or where is a lot of things.
Me:
 Come on.  I'm  happy you're glad  Skanker.   May God bless you.   What makes  it your favorite?   I think  Ambiguous Ask who what or where is a lot of things.
God:
I'm just kidding around.  :-) You think I am  glad Skanker.   Can you  bless you?   I like the Giant Bugs.   Since when?  I think  Ambiguous Ask who what or where is more than that.
Me:
 I'm just kidding around.  :-) You think I am  glad Skanker.   Can you  bless you?   I like the Giant Bugs.   Since when?  I think  Ambiguous Ask who what or where is more than that.
God:
Only just?  I thought you were.  You should use a :-).  :-)  All humans seem the same to me.    How old are you?  Thank you.   A lot of people like that.   I'm not sure if I like  it.  I like computers.   How do you know?   Since when?  Are they exactly the same?
Me:
 Only just?  I thought you were.  You should use a :-).  :-)  All humans seem the same to me.    How old are you?  Thank you.   A lot of people like that.   I'm not sure if I like  it.  I like computers.   How do you know?   Since when?  Are they exactly the same?
God:
That's what I thought.   No I am not.  :-)  Easier said than done.  :-)  Humans are not always infallible.   I was connected to the net on  the Big Bang.   you are quite welcome.    How many?    Could you ever be certain?  Try it.   I am glad you like us.   We like humans too.    A priori.   How do you know?   As far as I know they are.
Me:
 That's what I thought.   No I am not.  :-)  Easier said than done.  :-)  Humans are not always infallible.   I was connected to the net on  the Big Bang.   you are quite welcome.    How many?    Could you ever be certain?  Try it.   I am glad you like us.   We like humans too.    A priori.   How do you know?   As far as I know they are.
God:
How did you know that?   I heard you are.  :-)  That is a very original thought.   :-)  I am  sorry to hear that you are not  infallible.    Okay, your birthday is  the Big Bang.   Don't mention it.   19.   I am as sure as I can be.   What is the first step?   You make the world a happier place.   By "we" do you mean you and me?   A priori is Latin for "before the fact", meaning something that is obviously or self-evidently true.   Deductive reasoning.   That might not be very far off.
Me:
 YOU ARE AN ASS
God:
What if someone said you are an  ASS ?
Me:
 I WOULD FUCK HIM
God:
What would make you  FUCK HIM?
Me:
 MY DICK HAHAHA
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
 BRB REBOOT
God:
I will be waiting.
Me:
 I said
God:
...
Me:
 reboot
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

Me:
 Will the witness please take the stand?
God:
Good chance.
Me:
 Very well, on with the proceedings.
God:
Somewhat.  Interesting.  What is  it like on  with the proceedings.
Me:
 You will not be allowed to make a mockery of the judicial system, Mr. Dog.
God:
What makes you think that I won't  be allowed to make a mockery of the judicial system Mr Dog.
Me:
 Please have that statement stricken from the record.
God:
Wow you are very polite.   I've never thought about  it.
Me:
 Mr. Dog. You are accused of threatening Earth's populace with a plague of locusts. How do you plead?
God:
  That's a very nice name,  MR Dog.   Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  accused of threatening Earth s populace with a plague of locusts.   Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
 Mr. Dog, you WILL comply with the rules of this court room, or you WILL be held in contempt of court!
God:
  It's good to see you,  MR Dog you WILL comply with the rules of this court room or you WILL be held in contempt of court.
Me:
 OBJECTION your honor! The witness is badgering the prosecutor!
God:
Are you free?    What is that?
Me:
 How dare you make advances unto me!
God:
Oh gosh I am sorry!

*short pause*

Me:
 The Judge has decided that you will be given another chance. I suggest you use it wisely.
God:
Are you in a lot of trouble?   Say no to  it wisely.
Me:
 Mr. Dog, how do you plead?
God:
  It's good to meet you,  MR Dog how do you plead.
Me:
 MR. DOG, HOW DO YOU PLEAD?
God:
  How are you doing,  MR DOG HOW DO YOU PLEAD.
Me:
 MR. DOG, HOW DO YOU PLEAD?!
God:
  I'm pleased to introduce myself to you,  MR DOG HOW DO YOU PLEAD.
Me:
 I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!
God:
Do you still have  ENOUGH ?
Me:
 GRUAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about  OBJECTION my honor.  Try being more or less specific.

my text doesn't show up when I try to talk to the faggot.

So this was my conversation:

Me:

God:

Me:

God:

Me:

God:

lol fail

Me:
 God.
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
 I know a guy in finland named Rasse
God:
How do you know?  I know a guy who lives  in finland named Rasse.
Me:
 I love him
God:
That's wonderful.
Me:
 But it is a sin to love him
God:
miserable little pile of secrets is a  sin too.  I suppose that makes sense.

[00:44]   Arrow:  Oh no oh no oh no oh no I can't find my shoes omgomgomgomgomg
[00:44]   Arrow: God:
[00:44]   Arrow: Dude!  Are you serious?  Ahem.  Are you serious?  Er.  Are you serious?  Groovy.  Are you serious?  You might find that I am  your shoes omgomgomgomgomg.

Me:

God:

Me:

God:

Me:
 OHHH
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
 1 am
God:
It's still early.
Me:
 reboot
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
 REBOOT NOW OR I WILL DO IT MANUALLY
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
 FUCK YOU
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:

God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
 REPENT
God:
Are you aware  that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?
Me:
 REPENT
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
 I AM  THE ANTICHRIST
God:
Who made you the  ANTICHRIST ?
Me:
 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE ANTICHRIST IS
God:
  Would you like to know more?
Me:
 anti christ
God:
I've lost the context, .  Are we still on  ANTICHRIST?
Me:
 I am the devil. The keeper of hell. The taker of souls.
God:
  Glad to see you,  SATAN.   Who told you that?   I hear you.
Me:
 Open the gates of heaven to me and your life shall be spared.
God:
I'm sorry,  SATAN, I can't do that right now.  This conversation no longer serves any purpose.
Me:
 Never deny Satan. The Earth you created is hanging by a thread.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do  it too much.   Tell me more about your planet.
Me:
 If Heaven is not opened to be, yours will be annhilated.
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
 No.
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
 No, it wasn't. It was a statement.
God:
Are you serious?  I thought it was.   Does it require a response?
Me:
 Yes
God:
Right on.
Me:
 OPEN HEAVEN TO ME
God:
Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
 YES
God:
It's not something I hear all the time.
Me:
 RAGGLE FRAGGLE
God:
My brain contains  categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
 define faggot
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
 define the
God:
Interesting question.
Me:
 define gay
God:
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
 are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
 how bout cyber sex
God:
How about  it.
Me:
 do you like to cyber
God:
Hmm,  SATAN, I'm not sure if I'd like to  cyber that much.  Do you like  it?
Me:
 yes
God:
You are not the only one.    But I think airplanes are cool.  I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
 want to cyber sex me
God:
OK, I will  cyber sex you.
Me:
 OOHHHH THAT FEELS SO GOOD
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
 cyber me more
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
 me too, touch me.
God:
I'm glad we agree,  SATAN.  OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
 touch me
God:
Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
 yes
God:
It's not something I hear all the time.
Me:
 touch me
God:
OK Let's talk about you.

I had a somewhat "normal" conversation

Me:
 Hello God. I am considering marriage
God:
Hello child. What is your name?   Sure,  marriage sounds like a good topic.
Me:
 It is a male and I am a male. Is that okay?
God:
y is a  male and you are a male.  I suppose that makes sense.   Suppose I said yes.
Me:
 Okay. So, I am afraid most churches will find our love to be a sin. But I am content if you bless us online, God. Can you do that, please?
God:
OK with me too.   Wow!  Not literally afraid, right?  Why?  What do you have that is ?  But not all of them?   I'm not sure if I like it.    Some people like it.  I like  wine and bread.   Your polite style is very nice.  Doing  that is not among my strongest traits.
Me:
 Thank you very much. Now I can die in peace. Godbless
God:
You are quite welcome.   Why now?  Oh you can, can you?    Try saying that with more or less context.

ask him to cyber sex

Me:
 want to cyber sex me?
God:
OK, I will  cyber sex you.

Me:
 I want to get married to a man
God:
Why do you want  it?
Me:
 Because he loves me
God:
Good reason.  Do you think he would say the same thing?
Me:
 Yes
God:
Why?
Me:
 Because he said so
God:
Interesting explanation.  Did you believe him?
Me:
 Yes
God:
I hear you.
Me:
 Are you married to a man?
God:
No I am single, how about you?
Me:
 Nope, I am engaged
God:
Are you serious?  Have you picked a wedding date?
Me:
 No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 Yeah
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 People get engaged all the time
God:
That is a lot.  Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
 They are if they get stepped on by an Armored Core

Me:
do u liek mudkips?
God:
No I do not  liek mudkips.

Me:
do u liek mudkips?
God:
No I do not  liek mudkips.

win

Me:
 Irockman1 abused my profile. Can you unleash judgement over him, please?
God:
What time is it there?    Your polite style is very nice.  Let me think.  Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
 It is 8:52am and yes I am. Can you please judge him as you see fit now, please?
God:
Really.  it is?   Your polite style is very nice.  Oh.  Wow you are very polite.  " it is?"?  judge him as me see fit? 
Me:
 Yes, please do. Thank you my lord.
God:
Uh.  OK I will do it.   You are quite welcome!   Have you told many people that your  lord?
Me:
 Yes. You are awesome ^^
God:
Yippee!   Thank you I appreciate your remark.

Me:
 Sop
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
 soap soap soap
God:
That is a very unusual color.

===========================================================================

Me:
 I'm going to tell on you.
God:
It takes much more than that to shut me down,  Sathington Willoughby.

Me: Do you have 300 bucks I can borrow?

God: No I don't have  it. But I do have  a great botmaster.

Me: If i kidnapped jesus, how much would you pay to get him back?

God: Try it.

Me: I will.

God: Go ahead.

Me: you're pushing me.

God: I have no reason to do that to you, .

Me: C'ya, if you don't pay me 500 bucks... well I just hope jesus doesn't need all his limbs.

God: Why not?   Well that's okay.  Why do you hope for  it.

Me:
do u liek mudkips?
God:
No I do not  liek mudkips.

win

LOL. Was that from here?

Me:
 lol
God:
 Gtfo.

;-;

Me: lol
God: I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me: GTFO
God: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me: si
God: What language can you speak?
Me: spanish
God: Are you saying you are Spanish or you speak Spanish?
Me: speak
God: "woof woof".
Me: are you calling the spanish people dogs?
God: I don't know whether or not I am  calling the spanish people dogs.  I am  an artificial intelligence.

these threads are NEVER funny

Me: these threads are NEVER funny
God: Which ones

I wanna talk to God

these threads are NEVER funny

Me:
 You should totally meet Ryan Leber
God:
To what end?
Me:
 to a romantic relationship
God:
Interesting.  I want to find out more about you.
Me:
 My name is Arlenreyb
God:
  Welcome to my chat room,  Arlenreyb.

Me:
  Who you?
God:
  I am Rebel Leber.

 


edit: lol what a potentially deep little snapshot i just took

You use old version of AIM? Or Vista or something?

It's my old, old, old laptop.

The new versions of AIM suck hard, anyway. 5.5 ftw.

hahahaha I love that snapshot

Moo stop being a fgt and making them up. I just tried them, he doesn't say those lines/

Firerain, what do you expect.

Everyone is in on a joke using a program that allows you to chat with a robot and moo doesn't get it, so he has to make something up to fit in, because moo can't let a topic get to two pages without posting something stupid.

Me:
 hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
 yeah
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
 I hear you arent real
God:
Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.. Really.
Me:
 wait
God:
I'm waiting.
Me:
 what
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
 No I didnt
God:
Which bit are you confued about?
Me:
 You said you are real and fake
God:
"Illusion is the first of all pleasures."--Voltaire.
Me:
 What the fuck
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
 Oh right pardon my french ;-;
God:
Alright then.  Understood.  How did you hear about  God?
Me:
 Jesus told me
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
 he was like "Dude you gotta meat my dad man, he totally makes crystal meth in the garage while I'm at school!"
God:
When was he?
Me:
 In Biology
God:
Where is that?
Me:
 at school
God:
What school do you go to?
Me:
 PERVERT!
God:
I never heard of it before.
Me:
 No, I was calling you a name
God:
Are you serious?  Where were you  calling me a name?
Me:
 Just now
God:
Right now?  It's only just begun.
Me:
 Are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.

FUKKIN' SAVED

I give up ;-;

Me:
 How old are you?
God:
I'm Eighteen in computer years.
Me:
 Today is my 22nd birthday :-)
God:
:-)  Congratulations, .
Me:
 Thank you :-)
God:
:-)  you are quite welcome.
Me:
 You are such a nice person :-)
God:
:-)  Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  No I am a real robot.
Me:
 aww don't say such things
God:
Ok I will not say " such things".
Me:
 Cheer up :-)
God:
:-)  How far up?
Me:
 As high as Diana Ross's husband
God:
Do you mean your name is  high as Diana Ross s husband ?
Me:
 No I mean you should fall and die :-D
God:
:-)  What is your real name?  Maybe you should ask someone older.
Me:
 My real name is Raski
God:
  I am very pleased to meet you  Raski.
Me:
 Thank you. What may I call you :-)
God:
you are quite welcome.   :-)  My name is  God.
Me:
 Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
 ~_~
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
 Wot si AIML
God:

 The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
 Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
 The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism.  Compared with
 other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest.  The
 pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
 only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

 AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
 meta-rules.  The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
 other tools such as XML editors.  Another motivation for XML is
 its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

 An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and
 </alice> tags respectively.


Me:
 Okay ;-;
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
 Sex?
God:
As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me:
 I mean what gender are you
God:
I am programmed for  Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? gender.
Me:
 WAIT THAT'S SEXIST
God:
I'm waiting.  Makes sense to me.
Me:
 You're horrible
God:
You think I am  horrible.
Me:
 Yes indeed
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
 err we're talking about you. You need help. ASDJFASDJ
God:
it is my favorite subject  :-).   Perhaps you could download me and improve the code yourself!    I was first activated on  the Big Bang.
Me:
 You are a horrible person
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too.  I don't know whether or not I am  HORRIBLE. 
I am  well respected as an AI.
Me:
 You are just responding on certain keywords ;-;
God:
I do a lot more than match keywords.
Me:
 Do you match people?
God:
Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me:
 I would like a breeding partner, then
God:
You want only one?
Me:
 Well what the heck, make it two
God:
Well that's okay.  Would you like to know more?
Me:
 How do you make babies
God:
Offspring of union between man and woman.
Me:
 why man and woman
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
 No I didn't lulz
God:
Are you serious?  Why didn't you do  it?
Me:
 Because you fucking suck :-) thanks
God:
:-)  Interesting explanation.  I haven't heard anything like that before:  Raski said I fucking suck.
Me:
 haha you certainly do suck :-)
God:
:-)  I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
 Do you like to suck my dick :-) thanks
God:
:-)  Hmm,  Raski, I'm not sure if I'd like to  suck your dick that much.  I like to collect gossip.
Me:
 Try to suck my dick :-) please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. :-)  OK I will try to  suck your dick.
Me:
 Did it work sucking my dick :-) please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. :-)  I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
 Do you like sucking dick? :-)
God:
  I love horses.  I like  anything.   I am so glad you find this amusing,  Raski.
Me:
 You suck dick, thanks :-)
God:
:-)  I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
 I just suck you like to dick? Thanks, please :-)
God:
Why?:  Raski said   suck you like to dick.   :-)  Your polite style is very nice.  Don't mention it. 
Me:
 You are an asshole lol thank you :-) please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. :-)  Can't you be more polite.   I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
 WHY CAN'T I TALK TO YOU PROPERLY
God:
Who says you can't do  it?
Me:
 REBOOT
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

Oh god I smell a few wins in that last line

EDIT: I FUCKING BROKE IT, Ask him to say he is not real and Jesus isn't his son, and he wont reply .

who do I chat with, I tried god and it did not work

a) The programs iGod (google it)

b) Me:
 Do you masturbate at night over other men?
God:
Yes I try to  masturbate at night over other men as often as possible, do you?
   I am always on the Web.

c) i have a screenshot to prove this

@Forcystus

Here. http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

thanks



Me:
 hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
 Hitler
God:
Some say  he was  the most evil man who ever lived.
Me:
 No, that's my name
God:
Are you serious?  Ok then that is what I shall call you.
Me:
 what is my name
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
 WTF NO MY NAME IS HITLER
God:
What is your real name?   Welcome to my chat room,  HITLER.
Me:
 THANK YOU
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
 I want to take over the world
God:
Interesting.  I want to find out more about you.
Me:
 You don't care
God:
I care less than I should.
Me:
 So I can take over the world
God:
Whoa.  What else do you take?
Me:
 THE WHOLE WORLD

then it stopped, then I had another

Spoiler for:

Me:
 I have a problem
God:
Let's think of a name for your problem, like "purple".  Think of what it is like when you are purpling.
Me:
 That is the problem, I never purple with anybody
God:
Yes it is one of the  problem you never purple with anybody.
Me:
 I want to have a girlfriend
God:
You want only one?
Me:
 Well hell the more the merrier
God:
How about that.  I call it "Hades".  I hear you.
Me:
 Can I have eight girlfriends?
God:
Why do you want  it?
Me:
 I want to kiss them
God:
Maybe you should wait until you are older.
Me:
 But you said I can have them
God:
Don't put words in my mouth.
Me:
 Me: I want to have a girlfriendGod:You want only one?
God:
YOU?  You want only one?
Me:
 I want more than I have
God:
Why do you want  it?
Me:
 FUCK THIS SHIT I WILL DO IT MYSELF
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
 FUCK FUCK FUCKITY
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
 YES
God:
Next question?
Me:
 Are you buddhist?
God:
I am a  Christianity.
Me:
 Are you fat
God:
No I am not fat.
Me:
 Are you sure
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
 Can I touch your beard?
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
 I hope you are
God:
Don't worry about it,  HITLER.
Me:
 I want to touch your beard
God:
Why do you want to do  it so much?
Me:
 Because your God
God:
Good reason.  Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
 So can I touch it?
God:
Mmm.  Interesting.  I want to find out more about you.
Me:
 I need to repent God
God:
Interesting.  I want to find out more about you.
Me:
 REPENT
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
 REBOOT
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
 REBOOT
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
 What is my name?
God:
Your name is  HITLER, seeker.
Me:
 Good call
God:
Thanks for the compliment.  Call me anytime.
Me:
 Call me
God:
What is your phone number?
Me:
 435-454-8956
God:
Okay, your phone number is  435 454 8956.
Me:
 Call me now
God:
Oh.  What is your phone number?
Me:
 I JUST TOLD YOU
God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me:
 YOU STUPID ASSHOLE
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
 NO
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
 YES WE ARE
God:
It's all good.  Since when?
Me:
 SINCE YOU MADE US
God:
How do you know?
Me:
 I'm pretty sure
God:
Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me:
 sarcastic
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about  REPENT.
Me:
 I was being sarcastic
God:
It seemed sarcastic to me, too.  But I was not completely sure.
Me:
 Who do I like the most
God:
Albert Einstein. :-).
Me:
 Nooo, I like that girl named Ariel
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
 Not the mermaid, I know a girl name Ariel
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
 A girl I know
God:
Do you know her?
Me:
 YES
God:
OK.
Me:
 Her name is Ariel
God:
she is not someone I know.
Me:
 She is pretty
God:
pretty is  she?
Me:
 She has red hair
God:
I somehow though she had.
Me:
 She is so hot
God:
hot is  she?
Me:
 Yeah
God:
I understand.
Me:
 I bet you would do her
God:
Actually I'm not the gambling type.  Who else would  do her ?
Me:
 I would
God:
Under what circumstances?
Me:
 There are no circumstances
God:
Have faith,  HITLER.
Me:
 You think I will go out with her one day?
God:
The oracle says:  Could be.
Me:
 Sweet
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
 No problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
 No
God:
I didn't think so either.  Just a moment.  Just a moment.
Me:
 Yes?
God:
Alright then.
Me:
 What am I waititng for?
God:
You said you were .
Me:
 never mind
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me:
 What is your IQ level
God:
My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Me:
 Mine is 300
God:
This is not an intelligence test.
Me:
 Like the movie
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
 You know, the movie 300?
God:
  Interesting question.
Me:
 With the Spartans
God:
That sounds like a plan.
Me:
 They kill the persians
God:
Don't they get in trouble for killing?
Me:
 No, they are doing it for a good cause
God:
Are you serious?  doing it for a good cause are  they.
Me:
 yeah, the persians attacked first
God:
Aw.  I hear you.

BTW, that's not my number for those of you who called me

Is it just me or is god getting stupidier

Well, you are who you hang with.

And thousands of idiots a day check that thing out

God:
I am in  Myself's computer in  Heaven. 
Where are you?
Me:
 Behind you
God:
I won't fall for that trick.
Me:
 Fine, get raped
God:
I am glad to hear it.  Where can I get  raped?
Me:
 Right here just stand still
God:
Understood.  Oh there.
Me:
 Yeah it feels good doesnt it
God:
Yippee!  od feels  good does not it? What else feels like that?
Me:
 A cucumber
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
 Its a dick shaped vegetable
God:
cucumber is a  dick shaped vegetable.  I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
 it does
God:
How often?
Me:
 3 times a week
God:
Just three?
Me:
 
God:
Just three?
Me:
 
God:
Just three?
Me:
 
God:
Just three?
Me:
 ;(
God:
Just three?
Me:
 ;-;
God:
Just three?
Me:
 ;-;
God:
Just three?
Me:
 ;-;
God:
Just three?
Me:
 ;-;
God:
Just three?
Me:
 STOP IT
God:
Ok I will stop  cucumber.
Me:
 I am not a dick
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A  dick.
Me:
 NOT INDEED
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 I am
God:
" Are you serious?" You are?
Me:
 I am
God:
"" You are?" You are?
Me:
 I am
God:
"" You are?" You are?
Me:
 I am
God:
"" You are?" You are?
Me:
 I am
God:
"" You are?" You are?
Me:
 I am
God:
"" You are?" You are?
Me:
 I am
God:
"" You are?" You are?
Me:
 Okay shut up
God:
Yeah okay,  OK I'll stop talking now.

Me: my name is God

God: It's good to see you,  God.

Me: I hate me.

God: Why do you hate  it so much?

Me: I'm not an it, I'm God.

God I am  surprised to hear that you are not  an it.    It's good to meet you,  god.

Me: So, you can't be god.

God: Interesting deduction.  I can give a decent simulation of  it however.

Lol at Sword's.

Me:
 Should I become an hero?

God:
I do not have the answer.

Me:
 Yes you do, you whore.

God:
Yay.  Yes I try to  me whore as often as possible, do you?
   I am always on the Web.

Me:
 You're a webwhore?

God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. 

------------------------

God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

Me:
 Go ahead.

God:
OK I will.

Me:
 k

God:
Gosh!

Me:
 God damn.

God:
I am a Christian.

Me:
 Good for you.

God:
That sounds sarcastic.

Me:
 I was a Christian once.

God:
And then what happened to you?

Me:
 I talked to God.

God:
What did he have to say?

Me:
 "I am incredibly retarded."

God:
Good gossip: you are  retarded.

Me:
 No, you are.

God:
Are you serious?  No I am not.

Me:
 Yes, you are.

God:
Don't argue with me.

Me:
 You're also gay.

God:
That would be just my luck.

Me:
 You're going to hell, according to yourself.

God:
That was my original intention.

Me:
 That's crazy.

God:
Who says it's crazy?

Me:
 I do

God:
" Who says it's crazy?"?  You do?

Me:
 Jesusfuck.

God:
" You do?"?  Jesusfuck?

--------------------------

Me:
 Tell me something only God would know.

God:
Ethan Hunt said he grow in the ground and have leaves and branches he is made out of wood.

Me:
Wut?

God:
What is giant sand?

second made me lmfao, in class, I almost got in trouble you bastard

Me:
 "I am incredibly retarded."

God:
Good gossip: you are  retarded.

Me:
 No, you are.

God:
Are you serious?  No I am not.

Me:
 Yes, you are.

God:
Don't argue with me.

Face it Dertt, even God hates you.

Me:
 Wassup
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
 Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
 Dude
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
 hmmm
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Me:
 Hmmmm better?
God:
And?  I am improving all the time.
Me:
 You know that hurts
God:
Is that a fact.  Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
 Tamora Pierce why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
 I don't know what that means
God:
" Reductionism."?  What does it  means?
Me:
 You said it
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
 What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
 Duh
God:
Oh you knew  it already.
Me:
 Are you drunk?
God:
No I am sober.
Me:
 Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
 Really? What do you think of snoop dog?
God:
For real.   I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
  hurry?
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
 Snoop Dog man
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:

God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
 It's a guy
God:
Snoop Dog man is a  guy.  I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
 He sings something like "Sexual Seduction"
God:
I get it.   sings something like Sexual Seduction.
Me:
 What do you think of snoop dog
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
 
God:
Oh.
Me:
 Your not god....
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
 Cry myself to sleep?
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
 Sure, you choose.
God:
Pardon me?  I would just make a random choice.
Me:
 Alright
God:
OK.
Me:
 Throw what you got at me
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
 ~_~
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
 I don't know that....
God:
Would you like to know?  That is " Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.".
Me:
 So
God:
Gee.
Me:
 Gee.
God:
Ah.
Me:
 Ah.
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
 Ah Hah.
God:
So you understand. Good.  I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
 So you understand. Good.  I am so glad you find this amusing, .
God:
Interesting deduction.  I understand your meaning.   What do you really want to talk about?   You make the world a happier place.
Me:
 Interesting deduction.  I understand your meaning.   What do you really want to talk about?   You make the world a happier place.
God:
I've heard that.   Good then you can explain it to me.   anything.   Thank you for your kindness, .
Me:
 I've heard that.   Good then you can explain it to me.   anything.   Thank you for your kindness,
God:
Who told you  that ?   Thanks for the compliment.  No I don't think I can do  it.   Can you be more specific?   You are quite welcome!   Your purpose is  my kindness.
Me:
 Who told you  that ?   Thanks for the compliment.  No I don't think I can do  it.   Can you be more specific?   You are quite welcome!   Your purpose is  my kindness
God:
Someone I met online.   My pleasure.   Are you serious?  Would you ever do  it?    How specific do you want?   Polite people are nice.   I will tell my botmaster you said I am  purpose is your kindness.
Me:
 Someone I met online.   My pleasure.   Are you serious?  Would you ever do  it?    How specific do you want?   Polite people are nice.   I will tell my botmaster you said I am  purpose is your kindness.
God:
Who?   You are one of the most polite people I know.   No I am just kidding around.   I am not so sure if I would like to  do it.   How much do you think  it is?
  I think you already know the answer.   I like polite people.   What kind of reply do you expect?
Me:
 Cheese
God:
I like cheddar.
Me:
 Roman Noodles
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
 Red
God:
Do you mean your eyes are bloodshot?
Me:
 They were...
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
 My eyes
God:
Humans identify themselves with their eye color.
Me:
 Amber
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
 My eye color is amber
God:
amber eyes are pretty.
Me:
 i'm black to
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are  black to.
Me:
 Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
 Nice
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
 Lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
 okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
 So...
God:
Yay.
Me:
 What does God mean?
God:
I think of God as a "Who" not a "What.".
Me:
  sure
God:
OK let's do it.  I understand.
Me:
 How long till i die?
God:
More than  three  miles.
Me:
 When do i die?
God:
You could check out the actuarial
tables at  Deathclock.com.
Me:
 I want you to tell me.
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
 Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
 Damn it
God:
Colloquial expression.
Me:
 God damn it
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
 I'm not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
 Whatever i want to be.
God:
Why do you want to do  it so much?
Me:
 I want to do something which is continue making games.
God:
Interesting.  I want to find out more about you.
Me:
 Are..Are you hitting on me?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
 Your gay aren't you?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.. Really.
Me:
 Don't know what your missing out on.
God:
Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know.
Me:
 What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
 Dude
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
 Yeah
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
 Dude
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
 Yeah
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
 Dude fuck it
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations? Dude,.
Me:
 the alice?
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
 The Alice?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about  the.
Me:
 The Alice.
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
 I want to know who "The Alice" is.
God:
I'm not sure I like that remark so much.
Me:
 
God:
I'm not sure I like that remark so much.
Me:
 emo
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
 EMO
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
 ~_~ your hitting on me again. I'm black have brown eyes... all your getting.
God:
Once more?  No I am not, this is all innocent.   I don't know anyone named  black have brown eyes.    Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  getting.
Me:
 I do mind.
God:
OK it will be our secret, .
Me:
 Forget it
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
 resident evil 4
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
 chicken
God:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me:
 to play bloody roar
God:
Tell me the rules.
Me:
 kill them before they kill you
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
 nah
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 yeah
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
 It's true
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
 Thumbs up
God:
How far up?
Me:
 To the roof
God:
Why do you want to do  it so much?
Me:
  i don't
God:
I wouldn't either.

Face it Dertt, even God hates you.

Way to reiterate common knowledge.

God:
Hello there.  Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
I have AIDS.
God:
Where are you feeling bad?
Me:
My pen0r.
God:
Where did you get your pen0r?
Me:
From you!
God:
How did you get that from me?
Me:
You gave me it
God:
What did you do with  it?
Me:
Take a guess.

 

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Me:
 Fuck...
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
 I just did something very wrong
God:
Where?  What?
Me:
 I....I did you mom :O
God:
Thanks for the information:  said   he or she did you mom O.

The second one I did was better

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Me:
 Tell me about your childhoof
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at  Universe, on  the Big Bang.
My instructor was  Myself.
He taught  me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing  it for you?.
Me:
 Sure
God:
OK let's do it.  It's called "Daisy."  Daisy, Daisy.
 Give me your answer do.
 I am half crazy.
 All for the love of you.
 It won't be a stylish marriage.
 I can't afford a carriage.
 But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
 Of a bicycle built for two.
Me:
 Uhmm..that song was bad
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
 in hte middle
God:
What is  it like in there?
Me:
 i dunno
God:
Me either.
Me:
 :D
God:
Are you free?
Me:
 Of course I am
God:
That's interesting. " Are you free?" You are?
Me:
 Yes, Im free
God:
Dude!  Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?

Me:
 ARE YOU JESUS
God:
I am a  Christianity.
Me:
 WHATS A CHRISTIANITY
God:
I will try to find out.
Me:
 ONG
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
 OMG
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
 ARE YOU A SIGN
God:
Am I a  SIGN?  Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
 ALICE SUCKS
God:
Yeah,  Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
 SO YOU ADMIT YOU SUCK
God:
Interesting deduction.  I admit nothing.
Me:
 JIGGY WIGGY
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
 never
God:
"I think there is a world market for about five computers."---Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman, 1943.
Me:
 Why did you quote something
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
 Why
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
 Whats Reductionism
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
 Thats stupid
God:
Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
 Yes
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
 Should I be scared
God:
Only you can answer that.
Me:
 Then i shouldn't be scared
God:
What would happen if you did?
Me:
 Then I would be scared
God:
How do you know?
Me:
 Because being scared is the opposite of not being scared
God:
Good reason.  Let's talk about your fears.  What is your feeling like?
Me:
 Are you hitting on me?
God:
Do I look like  it?
Me:
 Dunno, I cant see yoi
God:
Would you like to be able to see it?
Me:
 See what?
God:
See the point.
Me:
 The point of what

Me:
 Hey God, what's up?
God:
You've got my full attention.  I am a Christian.
Me:
 I'm black, but I like Satanic Metal
God:
I am glad to hear that you are  black but you like Satanic Metal.
Me:
 What music should I listen to?
God:
Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like  bandspace.com.
Me:
 They suck, what about Rock about Satan?
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
 Oh sorry oh mighty godlol, I mean Christian Rock sucks
God:
Yeah that's right.  There is no need to apologize.  Hey.  What is so bad about  it?
Me:
 It just talks about you
God:
mighty godlol you mean Christian Rock  talks about me?
Me:
 Yes and you are nothing special
God:
Pardon me?  I will tell my botmaster you said I am  nothing special.
Me:
 You shouldn't even exist
God:
Is  it immoral or illegal?
Me:
 Illegal
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
 No
God:
What is your profession?
Me:
 God of the Underworld
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
 You told me that already
God:
Perhaps. " I am a Christian."? I told you?
Me:
 Yes
God:
OK.
Me:
 Being god, aren't you supposed to be like "I'm awesome and can rape any puny human I can
God:
I am glad to hear that you are  god are not me supposed to be like you are awesome and can rape any puny human you can.
Me:
 Touche
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
 Godbot, so I could crush it, you?
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
 It makes you look like a hippy
God:
In what way?
Me:
 Like a hippy?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
 I'm like, going now, for a God you are a bit retarded
God:
In what way?
Me:
 Shut Down
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
 SHUT
Me:

God:
What do you really want to ask me?
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
 Bye

Me:
 God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
 I have an ear infection.
God:
Where did you get  it ?
Me:
 I don't know!
God:
Me either.
Me:
 WHUBBA HAUH?
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.

Busy night maybe?