Legacy Saga (my first ever game!)

Hi everyone!, this is my first ever game i have made using rm2k3 and its called legacy saga. This is only a small demo to make you interested but the real thing will be ALOT longer. heres a bit about the game.

Story:

You are 2 bounty hunters, Josh (Neo's brother) starts to question the unknown. While on a trip to get there daily bounty.
They get a certain mission that is just more than money, It changes there life forever and makes them fight for their life.
Think you can handle it?

Characters

Neo

He is a bounty hunter aged 18. He is calm and unlike his brother josh he can stay calm in big situations. Neo's mother died 2 years ago and he became a bounty hunyer to look for his farther who dissapeared after his mother died.

Josh

Brother to Neo and like Neo he is also a bounty hunter searching for the same thing. Josh cannot stay calm in situations and his  un calmness usually makes them get into more trouble...

Julie

A girl needing help from the 2 bounty hunters. You meet her early in the game offering 100gp for you to help kill the cyclops terrorising the village. She Is calm and collected and can think on her feet. She is searching for something also but she does not want to speak about it (in next demo)

THERE ARE MORE CHRACTERS BUT NO MORE IN THE DEMO  :evil:

Screenshots


A battle screen



The beggining of the intro


The title screen

Demo link

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=T5LDF890

please give me some feedback

Okay I won't download the demo, because the story doesn't interest me...

where is the character info?

What is the name of the other hunter?

Tip:

Read your own story and think to yourself, does it make me want to play that game?

 :mrgreen: Shift: She locked her own topic, lol! 

XD not my fault i was curious what the button did! lol XD and i updated the information so it got the chracter information

Sophia

A girl needing help from the 2 bounty hunters. You meet her early in the game offering 100gp for you to help kill the cyclops terrorising the village. She Is calm and collected and can think on her feet

WHOOHOO! 100gp, now I can die rich! Just discribe her personality if she is really one of the main characters rather than a quest character.

Hello my name is Sophia and I am here to give you 100gp if you kill that mean old cyclops that farted in my direction.

If she is just a quest character then there is no need for her to be on the character info sheet.  :wink:

You find out after the cyclops! lol this is my FIRST GAME! lol XD she joins forever in next demo. You get payed alot more. It just a starter cash

I know this is your first game, and your new to all of this, so I will go easy on you.

Don't use up all the time creating the game and making up the story as you go along with it. Take some time just with a pen and paper and write down the story and create the script of the game. If you need help in that aspect then you can catch me on MSN, because I always make sh*t up XD

well thanks for going easy on me. I know i got ALOT of work to do. can you download it and see what i can improve on please?

demonheart is right. just tot release my tech demo was hard already, becaus i need to get indeapth with my intro, and that started with a pen, paper, then a keyboard, and a word processor, then it was off to making it perfect... making RPGs takes time. if you don't put a lot of time on the story, people will think that you just sat down and spontaneously made it. tho i will still download it to give you some feedback.

Here goes:

1. The intro had no point... Just 2 guys asking why there is war and that are without work... not exciting

2. Here the girl's name is Sophia, ingame she is called Julie... so which is it?

3. The quest reward is 100GP, but killing a monster party yields 15GP and the boss yields 38GP... Add a zero to the reward to make it more worthwhile.

4. The intro area and the mountain area seem to be "flying"... add more cliff to fix this

5. The monster on the field is a dragon, but in battle its the cyclops... uh do I really need to explain this?

Its julie sorry sophia is another chracter and ok i will add it to 1000gp. and yes dragon monster is wierd so i will change that. and the intro i am still working on. I know this needs ALOT of work and i am trying to make this game really fun.

take your time, sit down and think about what you need to do.

Thanks do any of you have ICQ? we can chat on that

I once had ICQ... I got alot of PM from people to watch their porn sites...

EW! demon redownload it and block them and me and you can chat help each other on games

Nice CBS  :-)

thanks a nice comment btw the updated version is alot different to this one. the intro is changed and everything and thanks dwarra your one of the only people who gave a good comment

I once had ICQ... I got alot of PM from people to watch their porn sites...

thats funny demonheart. good thing i don't have people like that IMing me. check my ICQ number under my avatar or on my profile card.

ok ill add u looney

hey yuna, i played ur demo and here is some feedback:

Spelling and Grammar- I know this doesn't look like an important part and is too much, but most players are natural english speakers, and they don't like misspelled or incorrect caps. I know this is too much, but thats because I strive to make my games look "pro."

The villagers are pretty boring. Liven them up with 2-3 randomized dialogues/lines.

The Demo is too short. i beat it in 5 mins. no one likes that. my tech demo alone takes about 5-7 minutes, and that is only an intro. I released a demo of my halted project "Silent Overlords" before, and i takes 45 minutes average to beat. I features 1 "dungeon" or field that is composed of 4 separate maps with a puzzle and boss battle. when you get to the second city, you can also access a "secret dungeon" by talking to someone who guards the door and entering a code number, and that dungeon still has objectives like reaching a certain characters level to and acquiring key items to move forward.

i know there is room for improvement in ALL WE DO. so sit down and take your time. think about this thing or you won't get as much ppl downloading this.

ok thanks and my new demo has changed alot