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RMRK General => Creativity => Topic started by: Forty on July 26, 2008, 02:13:29 AM

Title: [Writing] You
Post by: Forty on July 26, 2008, 02:13:29 AM

You

Sunlight and moonlight cycle through
Bringing everyday anew
As the days goes by
I keep thinking about you

Cold and warmth work together
Loneliness is the coldest place to be
But when I am around you
I feel as warm as can be

Push and pull keep the earth in balance
Your beauty pulls on my heartstrings
And your personality pushes me forward
Without you I’d fall out of line

My physical feats may not be great
But the pen is mightier than the sword
And may I leave you with one final remark
Without you, my heart is torn


Credits: To my loved one for inspiration, and to Irock for a little help

Title: Re: You
Post by: Irock on July 26, 2008, 02:14:58 AM

You made it sound good.

Bravo, m8.

Title: Re: You
Post by: Forty on July 26, 2008, 02:18:04 AM

Thank you ^_^

Title: Re: You
Post by: Arrow on July 31, 2008, 04:57:05 AM

(https://rmrk.net/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi77.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj61%2FJollyGreenBuddha%2F1185421530773.jpg&hash=444d2d5e98606f7b7032331babcfef30d15cacd0)

Jokes aside, nice work. :3 Very heart felt.

Title: Re: You
Post by: Sophist on July 31, 2008, 05:07:45 AM

Quote from: Arrow-1 on July 31, 2008, 04:57:05 AM

(https://rmrk.net/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi77.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj61%2FJollyGreenBuddha%2F1185421530773.jpg&hash=444d2d5e98606f7b7032331babcfef30d15cacd0)

Jokes aside, nice work. :3 Very heart felt.

BALLOON RAPE

Title: Re: You
Post by: Arrow on August 04, 2008, 07:36:43 AM

Every post in this topic thus far has contained the word "you". :o

Title: Re: You
Post by: Holkeye on August 04, 2008, 05:51:54 PM

Not anymore.

Title: Re: You
Post by: Forty on August 07, 2008, 01:46:45 AM

Quote from: Anski on July 31, 2008, 05:07:45 AM

Quote from: Arrow-1 on July 31, 2008, 04:57:05 AM

(https://rmrk.net/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi77.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj61%2FJollyGreenBuddha%2F1185421530773.jpg&hash=444d2d5e98606f7b7032331babcfef30d15cacd0)

Jokes aside, nice work. :3 Very heart felt.

BALLOON RAPE

:facepalm:

That's Hand Banana, you know, Meatwad's dog that can make pastries.

And thanks for the comments guys :)

Title: Re: You
Post by: Sophist on August 07, 2008, 05:12:30 AM

Don't facepalm me >:(

If I didn't know what it is I wouldn't have known it raped Carl about 20 times. Hence I wouldn't have said balloon rape.

Nice poetry, it's as nice as amateur poetry can get.

Title: Re: You
Post by: Holkeye on August 07, 2008, 05:47:07 AM

No it isn't. Here's an amateur poem that I made up on the spot:

Delicately.
Recite words that I've written on this ancient paper.
Is it too much to ask that you be true?

Absolute zero.
The temperature of fidelity,
when all that I would want would become you.

I sic a smile on you from the formula I've taken.
I'm indisposed, but I'm also in contempt.

I lie as I lie myself upon this rusty sheet.
Is there another that would have your time well spent?

For all the questions that I ask, one answer can't be found.
Because I lead you on it won't make sense-
until you've been there for yourself:
until you've lived this life.
A mile in my shoes won't help you repent.

Tell me, are you ready to be obsolete?
Answer, are you prepared to shed your skin?
The only thing
that I want to know is
are you sure of

what

you

are?

Title: Re: You
Post by: Sophist on August 07, 2008, 05:47:55 AM

Stop stealing fortycrusts spotlight mr. amateur Shakespeare

Title: Re: You
Post by: Holkeye on August 07, 2008, 05:52:09 AM

Sorry. I just get pissed when people call poets "amateurs". You're either a poet, or you aren't. A royalty deal doesn't mean shit.

Title: Re: You
Post by: Sophist on August 07, 2008, 06:08:41 AM

:3