Alright, so i'm drawing some manga again (The one in particular was previously called fermata after that one musical sign, now i'm calling it pianissimo[then silence] because i can't think of anything cooler.) and i'm starting it and then i realize between scene breaks(i'm doing an introduction sequence) i have this empty space between panels that i'm not going to use credits for (considering i'm the only one writing any of this, there isn't going to be alot of beginning credits .-.) . So I, being the weirdo i am, try to take my hand at poetry. My hands ended up barfing up something reasonably epic(well, for me anyhow) and now i'm in the middle of trying to make it into what it was meant to be. What is it meant to be, you may ask? Well, reasonably epic. reasonably. I'm not looking for epically epic. So any and ALL critique is awesome here, because this probably needs help.
(BTW this isn't what i originally barfed up on the page, i worked on it a little .-.)
(And i hope for it to eventually rhyme, I'm working my way up from a rather rough thought to poetry here .-.)
"Clad in black,
and a breeze in the dark
He will not stop until the justice is done.
Faster and Faster,
the days die young,
When will it stop?
When the black man, he comes.
Ashes to ashes!
he cries in the night
Dust to Dust!
he croons to the moonlight
Out in the Void,
True to the north
Worlds are destroyed,
and yet he still builds home.
No rhyme nor reason can deny this,
but common sense makes a fool of us all.
And still the black man, he comes."
Thank you if you got through that. and thank you if you're willing to critique it :tpg: