You caught me. I did indeed join on this day in 2006. However, I did not become active until some time later, and I am going to regale you with a delightful story as punishment as to to why I did, in fact, become active.
It is difficult to remember precisely the post which drew me in. I believe Arlen had said it, or possibly arle, arl, or the arltree, but it was a post I found quite humourous at the time, though it is hard to explain why. The post was something like "I don't like intelligent people because most of them are douchebags". It was simple, and upon thought it is a statement that many of you may not find humourous being, as I am sure you are, somewhere in the top 10% of your high school and thinking yourselves quite intelligent. However, for me there was context. It is hard to explain precisely the context, because all stories are mundane and uninteresting when I tell them, but I will attempt it if for no other reason then to punish you. Suffice it to say that the statement rang true as I had just come from a class in which a very intelligent person was experimenting heavily in douchebaggery. Before I tell you precisely what he did, I feel it paramount to describe the person so that you can visualize him, and the very best way to do that is through his name.
What's in a name? For most, they have no meaningful effect on your life. There is no trait that all Michaels share because they were named Michael, or that Pauls share because they are named Paul, or Kevins share because they were named Kevin. But for some reason, there are other names which seem to define the person. If you name your child Bengay, then it is a fact that his favourite way to introduce himself is "Hey, I'm Bengay. My friends call me Ben, my
close friends call me gay" and he will end it with 3 note laugh increasing in pitch with each 'ha'. Your kid Chip will more then certainly play football and probably objectify women before he ends his life in squalor. It is just such a name that this irascible villain has; it screams douchebag like no other name I know of in the world. And nobody I know with this name has ever escaped this trait. Unfortunately, I fear typing it for the very reason that it is common, and I do not want to make myself hated by any members of the community with the unfortunate name, or who are related to those with that unfortunate name. But believe me when I say that this person I am speaking of exhibits all of the douchebag traits one expects from the name, and possibly heightens them.
After all this, the action he takes will seem anti-climactic, and you may feel I have been lying to you. I will try to explain more about this person; the kid who worked 6 years as a computer programmer after high school before coming to take his degree in Mathematics. He shares a graduation year with me, this 25 year old, and so I have witnessed his presence in multiple classes, always there, always answering rhetorical questions, and always douchebagging. He's smart, probably one of the smartest in my year. But his action, the one I was thinking of before I logged onto RMRK to see arlen's quote (notice that arlen now calls himself RL, after a 90's Reality Television show on MTV, the Real Life) was unforgiveable in my own mind. It will seem mundane, and you will think me somewhat insane for going through this ordeal to tell you of it, but keep in mind two things: 1) you've never taken Rings and Fields and 2) it is the accumulation of douchebag manoeuvres that he performed which is the true annoyance - the incident I relate is merely the climax. It happened in my Rings and Fields class (Text: Modern Algebra) as my professor was proving something boring. At the conclusion of the proof, the class became aware of a chuckle, the typical douchebag chuckle, 4 sharp 'ha's with a slow, yet audible intake of breath at the end. It was emitting from him, the douchebag with the douchebag face and the douchebag history and the douchebag name. "Oh", he said when the professor asked him why he was interrupting the class, "that was just a
very clever proof". He smiled, and I went home, and I saw the comment that the Real Life had made and I said to myself: "I like this place".
Lol, that was an exercise at prolonging a very short story. I wonder if anybody wasted their time reading it
Discord
Light Style