[Writing] Forever Love

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

*******
RMRK's Mom
Rep:
Level 88
I intend to live forever - so far so good.
2014 Most Missed Member2013 Queen of RMRK2013 Kindest Member2013 Most Mature Member2013 Best CounselBronze SS AuthorBronze Writing Reviewer2012 Best Counsel2012 Kindest Memberluv u bb <3Secret Santa 2012 ParticipantFor taking a crack at the RMRK Wiki2010 Kindest Member
Theme: Love
Word Count: 1,740
Part 1 of 3

Spoiler for:
Ed stood and stretched, muscles undulating beneath his shirt. Sweat dripped from his brow and he took a long swig from the canteen he carried on his belt.  Tobacco farming was hard work, but he preferred wide open spaces to concrete buildings any day.  No doubt his employers had been dubious at best when he had shown up looking for work.  At a buck thirty soaking wet, Ed had always been lanky.  And because of that people assumed he was weak. They were wrong.  Wishing that mother nature would send him a breeze, he plucked his shirt away from his skin and continued down the row topping plants.

In addition to Ed, Hal Rochester employed three other migrant workers. They'd move in just before the topping season started and would stick around until harvest. After which they, and Ed,  would move on to the next job where they would help out with whatever was available in exchange for room, board, and a small salary.  Ed had been with the Rochesters the longest, arriving just in time to help transplant the fledgling plants to the fields. Sun up to sun down, no matter what was asked of him, Ed was ready. When the first group of workers were hired, Hal placed Ed over them as foreman.   

The Rochester family had three sons and four lovely daughters. Hal was the consummate patriarch; barrel chested, calloused, and with a jovial spirit.  His younger sons helped out with the tobacco fields while Mack, the oldest, would spend his days hunting and fishing to supplement their meals. The girls worked the garden; hoeing, weeding, and cajoling the plants into giving enough food to feed the crew.

The sun was soon sinking behind the tree tops, painting the sky in shades of orange and red.  Grabbing his lunch box, Ed started toward the house where he knew dinner would be waiting. The best part about working at the Rochester place was that Mrs. Rochester would have dinner set up and waiting in the barn for all of the field hands.

Ed stopped at the old hand pump and splashed water over his face and hands.

“Hey.” Her voice washed over him like a sweet melody.

“Miss Polly,” Ed tipped his head towards her and smiled.

Throughout the spring and early summer, Ed and Polly had been snatching moments to chat and get to know each other. They had met one day when Ed was washing up before dinner. Polly had been sent to the garden to fetch a tomato and had stopped to say hello. When he'd looked up his breath had caught in his throat. Her eyes were crystal blue pools, so clear they reflected his own image. Her crimson locks were pulled back into a ponytail with strands here and there popping out, framing her face.

 Between her dazzling beauty and the soul that shone in her eyes, he was thunderstruck, and his first words to her had been something akin to “nngh.”  She tongue tied him, whenever she was around he couldn't form a coherent thought, much less a sentence. Luckily, he was saved from himself by her cheery and open personality. As he would wash up, she would be nearby in the garden, chattering along about everything and nothing. Her sing song voice soothed him and set him at peace for the rest of the day. He eventually managed to speak a few words to her and their friendship had grown.

“How you doin' today, Ed?”

“Tired, Miss Polly, plum tired.”

“Daddy has some liniment if you need it.”

“Naw, it ain't all that bad,” he flashed her a smile to show that he would survive.

“POLLY!”

“I gotta go,” Polly turned and raced toward the house, the scent of roses trailing behind her.

“How does she do that?” Ed muttered quietly

“Do what, Ed?”   

Ed had been so taken with Polly that he hadn't heard Hal, who had come up behind him. 

“Hal! I didn't hear you.”

“I'm not surprised, you're quite taken with her, aren't you?”

Ed's face turned several shades of red and he could feel the heat all the way to the tips of his ears. 

“Well, uh, you see, sir.”

Hal slapped Ed on the back and let out a hearty laugh, his muscular frame bouncing in delight.

“Well, sir, since you brought it up. I have been trying to find a way to ask your permission to court Miss Polly”

“Ed, I've gotten to know you pretty well in the last six months, and I respect you. You treat my daughter like the lady she is, or you and I are gonna have some serious problems, follow me?”

“Yes, sir,” Ed's heart was pounding so hard he was sure Hal could hear it as well.

“Now you go on and have dinner. After church Sunday we'll all have a picnic.”Hal said with a wicked smile, “I'll let her know. From the way she's been acting round you lately, I'm sure there won't be any problems on her end.”

Blue skies reflected the color of Polly's eyes and a gentle breeze lifted her hair as they walked along the shore of the river that Sunday afternoon. The younger kids were skipping rocks, while Hal and Edith lay on the blanket, soaking up the sun,  allowing Ed and Polly to have a few minutes alone.

“You look pertier than a peach,” Ed said with just a hint of a tremble in his voice. 

He had taken extra time on his appearance this morning, wanting to get it just right. He had applied just the right amount of pomade and parted his hair. He was shaved clean as the day he was born and he'd dressed in his best shirt and pants. And he felt like a bum. 

“Why thank you,” Polly replied, smiling up at him, “you're quite handsome yourself”   

Ed's heart flip flopped and he smiled and reached for her hand as they continued to walk along the shore.

From that day forward, Ed began to take his meals with the family, each of them becoming familiar with the other. With time, Polly and Ed were allowed to sit on the porch alone, giving them treasured moments of privacy. Ed began to tell her of his dreams to one day settle down and run his own farm. Polly told Ed about school, and her dreams of having a large family. 

By the time the tobacco harvest was finished, Ed was in love. He knew that his time on the farm was coming to an end. But he was loathe to move on because it would mean not seeing Polly.  He was saved from having to make the decision when Hal came to speak with him. He, wisely seeing that his daughter was in love as well, offered to allow Ed to stay on as foreman.

Ed was kept busy, repairing the farm equipment, helping plan the next seasons crops, and chinking the curing house. He enjoyed the work because it allowed him to stay where Polly was. And since his room and board were covered, every penny he earned was saved towards a place of their own.  And that was how he thought of it now, because it wasn't possible to think of a future without Polly.

In April of the following year, when they had been courting for almost a year, Ed approached Hal. He had been turning an idea over in his mind. If he could build a small house on the outskirts of the family plot, then as soon as it was finished he and Polly could get married, if Hal and Edith agreed.  That was the first thing he needed to ask.  He picked a day when he knew all of the children would be out of the house and asked Hal if he could speak with him and Mrs. Rochester.

“Come on in, son.”

Hal let the screen door slam behind him, alerting Edith that company was here. She came into the room drying her hands on a dish towel and smiled at Ed.

“Ed.”

“Mrs. Rochester, Hal, I had something I wanted to talk to you two about.”

Hal gave Edith a knowing look, they'd been betting each other as to how long it would be before Ed asked to marry their daughter. 

“Well, spit it out son, what is it?” Hal asked, taunting him.

“Well, sir.  Um.  You see.”

“Yes?” Edith said, her voice full of encouragement.

“I want to marry Miss Polly”

In the end it had been much easier to settle than he had thought.  Hal had wanted to deed him the property as a wedding gift but Ed was his own man and didn't intend to change that. He worked out a payment plan for the plot and started building the house. He did this in secret,  because he wanted to surprise Polly with it when he asked her to marry him.

This caused a bit of a problem for him because Polly wasn't sure why his ardor had suddenly cooled. He no longer lingered after dinner to spend time with her. As soon as the meal was over, he rushed out the door, making excuses about how tired he was. With the help of family and friends, their little place was soon ready.

After dinner that night, he asked Polly to take a ride with him.  Hal had given his permission and loaned Ed his old truck. When they started down the road toward the home Ed had built, Polly had given him a puzzled look. She had explored every acre of their farm and she wasn't exactly sure where they were headed. When the house came in sight, Ed stopped the truck and asked her to get out with him.

“Miss Polly, I'm not real good with words. I'm a simple man. I love you. And if you'll have me, I'll spend the rest of my life doin' all I can to make your dreams come true.”

The look of joy on her face was all the answer he needed, but with her whispered “Yes” his heart soared to the moon. He wasn't sure what the future held, but he was sure he would spend it with her.

Edit: Much love and appreciation to Yuyubabe for being my proofreader.  She helped me shape this story into what it is.  <3 
« Last Edit: May 25, 2015, 09:18:51 AM by boe »

*
RMRK's dad
Rep:
Level 86
You know, I think its all gonna be okay.
For going the distance for a balanced breakfast.Project of the Month winner for June 2009For being a noted contributor to the RMRK Wiki2013 Best WriterSilver Writing ReviewerSecret Santa 2013 Participant
Damn, Julie, you got some chops. This is, what... your second story? And man, I was THERE. I heard the cicadas and saw everything through blazing summer sun. I was getting hot, too, and it's currently 40 degrees where I am. Nice description in that first scene, no question.

'Course, ye' threw in summa that Good Ol' Southern talk, too. Ye' dun good there.

Now, after having read the heart wrenching tales submitted in the past few days, this story didn't affect me that way- BUT, it did affect me the way it was intended. Instead of the gut-burning rush of despair or anger, I felt like I was drinking ice cold lemonade after a day in the field. It was refreshing to see things go right in a story! Although I was a little let down by the lack of conflict, sometimes it's good to just read about people making it. In this case, your timing was impeccable- lately, it's been pretty rough in the stacks of the Librarium, and this story brought some needed light to them.

Very good stuff here, although at the beginning i thought that maaaaybe you were a little mor involved with Ed taking his shirt off than I would be... :V

Also, because all men stop maturing at the age of twelve, this line made me giggle:
Quote
The girls worked the garden; hoeing
Meh heh,heh heh heh, meh heh heh...  I know, "quiet, Beavis."

I'd reccommend this for a compilation because it was a refreshingchange from waht I'm used to reading, and because it has the happy ending I had hoped for.

It's a right nice little yarn you spun here, ma'am.

:tinysmile:

*******
RMRK's Mom
Rep:
Level 88
I intend to live forever - so far so good.
2014 Most Missed Member2013 Queen of RMRK2013 Kindest Member2013 Most Mature Member2013 Best CounselBronze SS AuthorBronze Writing Reviewer2012 Best Counsel2012 Kindest Memberluv u bb <3Secret Santa 2012 ParticipantFor taking a crack at the RMRK Wiki2010 Kindest Member
* Baroness Jules blushes


You're too kind ;_;  This is actually part one of a two part story. The next will be under the theme of family and will have .. well all the conflict that was lacking here lol  I had a story in mind but there was simply no way to tell it in 2000 words or less. So I struggled with it for a couple of weeks and then decided to bust it up this way. I hope the next part doesn't disappoint!   

*
The Hero of Rhyme
Rep:
Level 83
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
2014 Queen of RMRKProject of the Year 20142014 Best RPG Maker User - Story2011 Best Newbie2014 Kindest Member2014 Best RPG Maker User - Creativity2013 Queen of RMRKBronze SS AuthorBronze Writing ReviewerSecret Santa 2013 ParticipantFor taking arms in the name of your breakfast.GOOD!For frequently finding and reporting spam and spam bots2012 Best Yuyubabe Smiley2012 Best RPG Maker User (Creativity);o
You know I love this one! ;_; It really is refreshing to see something with a happier ending! The story threw no curve balls or no conflict, but I agree with M00s that it adds the necessary contrast needed, especially compared to the dark, depressing stories we've seen so far!

I also really like the dialogue - it's classy and seems to be written in a way that suits its time and nature! The characters - especially Ed - are captured pretty well! Actually, I really like Hal, too! I was still a bit shocked at how easily he let the farmhand sweep away his daughter, but I think doing otherwise would either take too much time and space, or turn it into a cliche Romeo and Juliet story. The way he went about it was fair, and I could see a good, jovial man like him doing that.

I'm glad we finally have a happy story!! ;_;
Spoiler for My Games and Art:
ℒℴѵℯ❤


My Artwork Thread

The Lhuvia Tales [Current]

Ambassador [Complete]

The Postman [Complete]

The Wyvern [Complete]

Phoenix Wright: Haunted Turnabout [Complete]

Major Arcana [Cancelled]


****
Rep:
Level 43
Storyteller
Bronze SS AuthorBronze Writing Reviewer
* Baroness Jules blushes


You're too kind ;_;  This is actually part one of a two part story. The next will be under the theme of family and will have .. well all the conflict that was lacking here lol  I had a story in mind but there was simply no way to tell it in 2000 words or less. So I struggled with it for a couple of weeks and then decided to bust it up this way. I hope the next part doesn't disappoint!   


Then I'm glad that there is going to be a second part. :3


This was a good change for the compilation, and it deserves to be in said compilation, too!
The summer season was captured, the description of the work in the fields, and even the lives of the ladies was brought to life as well. The characters were alive, and how life events were going just seemed exactly how they should be.

And I was left very happy for Ed and Polly. ^^
I'm glad it ended with their happiness!

*
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Rep:
Level 96
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
GIAW 14: 2nd Place (Hard Mode)2013 Biggest Drama Whore2013 Zero to HeroParticipant - GIAW 11Secret Santa 2013 ParticipantFor taking arms in the name of your breakfast.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&