Ask a Zombie professional.

The old topic in general chat was deleted, in lieu of this one.

I've studied Zombies for quite some time.
Logically, and seriously, and sometimes historically and jokingly.

Ask away.

Do you honestly study fictional beings?

Did you seriously study zombies in a logical and historical way? If so, how?

Do you honestly study fictional beings?

Yessir. The mythology behind them is quite entertaining. And they aren't fictional.
There are four definitions of Zombies:
1)An animated corpse that feeds on living beings.
2)A voodoo spell, with which to raise the dead.
3)A Voodoo Snake god.
4)One who acts lin a trance, or dazed-like state -(In reference to a zombie).

I've studied all four definitions.
The real one, of which the "idea" of Zombies originated (Voodoo) and the fake kind of Zombies, of which are dipicted in movies, like 28 days later, and 28 weeks later.

_________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________

Did you seriously study zombies in a logical and historical way? If so, how?

Zombies, come from Voodoo. Apparently, (And this is VERY true) the Bokor (Voodoo Sorceror) would poison people with a special potion, to alter the heart fate and make them appear "dead". Once, after the proper amount of time was passed, they would "ressurect" the "zombies" and use them for whatever they needed. Basically, they enslaved them. As a zombie you had little mind of which to use. You could still perform basic funtion, but the ability to stop and ask "Why am I not getting payed?" is destroyed.
Science has yet to learn the mysterious liquids used in this ceremony, but it could be a great source for the future.

An animated corpse, that's the fiction one. A voodoo spell and a voodoo snake god? I'd have to say that's pretty fictional, too. And for the last one, that just sounds like someone who's sleepy. Where did you study these things? And how is is entertaining? It's pretty creepy to me.

An animated corpse, that's the fiction one. A voodoo spell and a voodoo snake god? I'd have to say that's pretty fictional, too. And for the last one, that just sounds like someone who's sleepy. Where did you study these things? And how is is entertaining? It's pretty creepy to me.

Online is a great resource. Books also. MANY books have been made on this subject. What got me started was a show I once saw a long time ago. It was about Voodoo, and this tapped my inner lust for knowledge, to ask if it was real. And as it turns out, it's not real, but NOT entirely false. I've traveled Haiti myself to speak with voodoo preists about it. Although tranaslation boundries were difficult, I learned what I could. I've never seen a ritual myself though. It has not been practiced in the open for some time.

Also, for the fictional kind, I know a great deal about too. Like the best weapon to use, and the actual virus from which this stems. I believe Max Brooks, son of Mel Brooks, has written a very in depth book about it.

What entertains me about it, is MOSTLY the fictional Zombies.
And as any general interest comes along for me, I must know the origins.
Yin/Yang, if you will.

Are you attracted to Zombies, like Furries are attracted to their respective fictional creatures?

Are you attracted to Zombies, like Furries are attracted to their respective fictional creatures?

Oh wow, I did not see this coming.
As serious as your question may be, I could not help but chuckle.
I am not, in any way, attracted to the living dead, fiction, or historical.
I AM a SLIGHT necrophiliac, however.
Please DO NOT assume this means I have an erotic, attraction to corpes and the like.
A necrophiliac is defined as BOTH the erotic attraction, AND someone, who may have an obsession with corpses and death.

I am the second one, because I find myself slighty drawn to both death, and corpses.

That's still pretty disgusting... Hmm.... How long have you... pursued this knowledge?

That's still pretty disgusting... Hmm.... How long have you... pursued this knowledge?

It IS disgusting, but I have this unique gift to smell death, I can tell if a corpse is nearby by the smell, and I always seem to find them. Mostly small rodents and animals. But the smell, no matter if it's a human or an animal, is always the same. I've persued this knowledge since about age six. And even though my resources were limited, it was something I did. And once I really become older, I had chances to go to Haiti, and read documents and interview people.

So all in all, it's been around 11 years.

That's pretty dang disturbing. How can you smell death? Do you smell a corpse or the act of killing? How beneficial is this knowledge?

Are you attracted to Zombies, like Furries are attracted to their respective fictional creatures?

Oh wow, I did not see this coming.
As serious as your question may be, I could not help but chuckle.
I am not, in any way, attracted to the living dead, fiction, or historical.
I AM a SLIGHT necrophiliac, however.
Please DO NOT assume this means I have an erotic, attraction to corpes and the like.
A necrophiliac is defined as BOTH the erotic attraction, AND someone, who may have an obsession with corpses and death.

I am the second one, because I find myself slighty drawn to both death, and corpses.

"Necrophilia" is a type of paraphilia. So if you were a "necrophiliac", you WOULD have a sexual attraction to death/corpses, whatever.

That's pretty dang disturbing. How can you smell death? Do you smell a corpse or the act of killing? How beneficial is this knowledge?

No. The smell, isn't OF the act of killing, but rather, the smell of the deceased.
This knowledge, isn't benificial to me. But I've searched for missing people, for the Hiedi search center.
I can smell the corpse several hundred feet away. Almost as well as dogs can. Which sucks because people tell me I have no snese of smell for anything else.
=[
You can bet, I have the worst feeling in my stomach when I smell someone dead... who I was searching for, hoping she was alive...

"Necrophilia" is a type of paraphilia. So if you were a "necrophiliac", you WOULD have a sexual attraction to death/corpses, whatever.

nec·ro·phil·i·a (n?k'r?-f?l'?-?) pronunciation also nec·roph'i·lism (n?-kr?f'?-l?z'?m, n?-)
n.

   1. Obsessive fascination with death and corpses.
   2. Erotic attraction to or sexual contact with corpses.

I'm the FIRST one. I have an unhealthy obsession with corpses and death. I'm not sexually attracted to them. I've searched for a definition of what I am, and this is what I come up with.

If you find the difinition for someone who is JUST obsessed with death, and NOT sexaully attracted, then I'd be glad to have your help.

Do you believe in an afterlife?

Do you believe in an afterlife?

A very vague question. I do not have a religion. So the afterlife is something I'm not very familiar with. As you can see, I tend to give way from beliefs, to science. I do believe, that any "Heaven" or "Hell" even if it IS true, would only be our own thoughts and mind, self inflicting pain on OURSELVES for what we think we have done wrong.
I truly believe God is a fictional charater, made by humans, FOR humans.

But that's something else. Maybe I should make an "Ask an Athiest" but I think that's been made.

Getting back to your question. No, I don't believe in the afterlife.
Although I'm hoping there is one, because even though I obsess over death, I'm afraid of it.

How can you believe in science but also believe in zombies? What happens to zombies in terms of an afterlife?

How can you believe in science but also believe in zombies? What happens to zombies in terms of an afterlife?

I said I "give way" to science. There are many things we don't understand.
Zombies do not have a life. Life, in terms of humanology, is the presence of a spirit.
Zombies, are not technically alive.
So they CAN be defined as an afterlife, in their own right.
But for the most part, they lack life, and a spirit.
So once they are "destroyed" (You can't kill what's already dead) they are destroyed, and they cease to function.

Main Entry: nec·ro·phil·ia
Pronunciation: "ne-kr&-'fi-lE-&
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin
: obsession with and usually erotic interest in or stimulation by corpses

A very vague question.

I meant it to be, specifically for the reason that I didn't care what your views on god or religion were. Just curious on what you thought about in terms of afterlife.

Next question: Do you plan on going into any specific career field parallel to your interests in death?

I meant it to be [vague], specifically for the reason that I didn't care what your views on god or religion were.

I'm not sure I understand this logic? If you just wanted a straight answer, then why not ask a sraight question?
I'm sorry if I bored you with my religious life.
You're not mad at me for stealing that topic, are you?
It was an accident...

Main Entry: nec·ro·phil·ia
Pronunciation: "ne-kr&-'fi-lE-&
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin
: obsession with and USUALLY erotic interest in or stimulation by corpses

Note the "usually".

Next question: Do you plan on going into any specific career field parallel to your interests in death?

I do wish to become an actor, and I hope to start in a zombie flick.
Aside from that, I don't think I'd like to become a zombie hunter or anything, if that the focus of your question.
[Edit]
I seem to be reading these questions wrong.
NO I do not wish to have a career, relating to, in any way, a corpse or death.
I've seen enough for my time.

Um, I'm pretty sure anybody can smell a dead body.

How do you believe this makes you special?

Um, I'm pretty sure anybody can smell a dead body.

How do you believe this makes you special?

Well...
It's more of an enhanced sense.
I cannot smell for shit.
My sense of smell is dead.
It's just that I can smell them, from very far away, or even if it's been buried.
Some cemetaries that do not do things correctly, can upset my stomach.
And it's ONLY death, only.
I smell this everywhere I go.
Off of another person, while driving, while walking.
Pretty much anywhere you go, there is a hint of death.

So if I came up to you, would you smell death in me?

a- It was a yes or no question that I wanted a yes or no answer to ?_? and LOL no I'm not mad
b- Necrophilia is still considered a paraphilia, which means it's a "mental disorder that characterized by sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors involving non-human objects, suffering or humiliation, children or other non-consenting person" according to the DSM-IV/-TR

So, we know when you started becoming interested in zombies, but WHY did you?

So if I came up to you, would you smell death in me?

That depends on if you had recently walk past a corpse of some sort.
Or had come into contact with someone who did.
Most people have at leasts LITTLE smell on them.
Barely noticeable though.
So I'm not sure.

a- It was a yes or no question that I wanted a yes or no answer to ?_? and LOL no I'm not mad
b- Necrophilia is still considered a paraphilia, which means it's a "mental disorder that characterized by sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors involving non-human objects, suffering or humiliation, children or other non-consenting person" according to the DSM-IV/-TR

So, we know when you started becoming interested in zombies, but WHY did you?

1)OH! Sorry then. My answer is yes. =]
2)Okay, I get what you're saying, but what's the point of that differece? Do you WANT me to say I have fantasies about corpses? Or, are you just pointing out a mistake? (Seriously)


The sory:
One time, when I was young, I saw a really bad zombie movie, one of those old black and white ones.
For the longest time my uncle teased me, telling me they were real.
I trained myself for this "Army of Death" for when they came for me.
I would debate on the best weapon. [Meelee- Poles, spears, sticks, bats, and swords]
And the best escape route and vehicle. [Off road trucks, or a bicycle]
I watched tons of movies, figuring out the mistakes, and the triumphs.
Needless to say, this never happened.
Until one day I was watching the television.
And a documenty on voodoo came up.
I heard that this was the TRUE originatings of the "zombies".
I went to my local library and the rest is history.

For the record, my question was really just a joke. I wasn't trying to turn this into a flame war, and I wasn't trying to accuse you of being sick or a sexual deviant. :\

2- nah, I just wanted to be right (am am am)

For the record, my question was really just a joke. I wasn't trying to turn this into a flame war, and I wasn't trying to accuse you of being sick or a sexual deviant. :\

Eheheh.
It's cool.
I need to learn to be more tolerent.
People are always going to see me different.
Thank you for mentioning this.

2- nah, I just wanted to be right (am am am)

And so you are.

I can relate slightly to you, bro. I used to be a big gorewhore.

Thank you.

I can relate slightly to you, bro. I used to be a big gorewhore.

Does anyone have any questions about the fictional Zombies?
Like in that type of scenario?

Gear you should have?
Places you should go?
Tactics of which to use?

What do I do if

Spoiler for NSFW, NSF people with weak stomachs, little kids, pregnant ladies, etc.:

starts chasing me?

What do I do if

Spoiler for NSFW, NSF people with weak stomachs, little kids, pregnant ladies, etc.:

starts chasing me?

Yes indeed, a good question. As a zombie, this man, [assuming it's not just a really ugly woman] would be very slow. He would be a poor excuse for a zombie.
Here are the facts:
His head is already somewhat severed.
And he looks relatively weak.

If you have the strength, or a proper meelee weapon, I'd focus on ripping off that top half. If you have a gun, a few well placed shots will take care of this person. If you find yourself un-armed, and not strong enough to do such things, then run. A tree would probably be the best vantage point, as from above, you could easily take off his head with a well placed kick [dependant on stength].

Very nice question, Djangonator!
With pictures and everything.

=]

Are you going to kill me? because I'm a zombie.

Are you going to kill me? because I'm a zombie.

No sir.
Explicit studies show that Zombies cannot type.
But I'll kill ye anyway!

*Slice*

=]

Are you going to kill me? because I'm a zombie.

No sir.
Explicit studies show that Zombies cannot type.
But I'll kill ye anyway!

*Slice*

=]

I'm not typing, I'm slamming fwdf my fave against the keyboard over and over, and words just happen to be made. peer chance. fsdf

I'm not typing, I'm slamming fwdf my fave against the keyboard over and over, and words just happen to be made. peer chance. fsdf

Dude, what the f*ck are you doing at a keyboard? Go start an outbreak, so I can really be useful.

Pleeeeease?

ARE ZOMBIES F*****G PEDOS?

ARE ZOMBIES F*****G PEDOS?

YES! ALL ZOMBIES ARE PEDOS!

lol.

No sir.

Zombies have no sex drive at all.
Nor do the organs work down here.

SO they couldn't possibly be.

But then again, where else is it acceptable to hear about grown men eating children?
o_0

Zombie proffesional eh...

Spoiler for:

Would you hit it?

Zombie proffesional eh...

Spoiler for:

Would you hit it?

I should slap you for even asking...
:'(
Yessir, I'd hit it in a hearbeat.

The old topic in general chat was deleted, in lieu of this one.

I've studied Zombies for quite some time.
Logically, and seriously, and sometimes historically and jokingly.

Ask away.

I wrote a logical book about Zombies. I did so much research, interviewed so many morticians, clergy men and everything. With movies, zombies rise, very hungry, no one ever thinks that when bodies are prepped for the ground, their jaws are wired shuts and their organs are taken out or liquified...

I wrote a logical book about Zombies. I did so much research, interviewed so many morticians, clergy men and everything. With movies, zombies rise, very hungry, no one ever thinks that when bodies are prepped for the ground, their jaws are wired shuts and their organs are taken out or liquified...

Sometimes bodies are prepared that way.
Sometimes not.
It depends on the location, and how well they do things.
It may shame most of you to know that most morticians take the cheap way out, for profitable gain, and often do things half-ass to save money.
It's all an elaborate show, most times.
There are a few respectable places left though.
What's you book called, and what's the name of the author?
I'd love to read another insight on zombies, assuming I haven't already read it.

I must correct you.
When you gave the definition of a real zombie, a posed human being.

They are alive, they don't have control, but from the info you gave us there and then, they're as alive as we are, just in a trance.

And one more question:
How close are games like Resident Evil to studied zombies?

I must correct you.
When you gave the definition of a real zombie, a posed human being.

They are alive, they don't have control, but from the info you gave us there and then, they're as alive as we are, just in a trance.

No I must correct you;
When we say a Zombie, as in reference to a trance-like state, we mean as a simile.

Example-
God, have you seen Mike today?
He's a zombie...

You must define a zombie in EVERY way possible.

And one more question:
How close are games like Resident Evil to studied zombies?

Resident Evil, and the such [New game: Umbrella Choronicles for the Wii], are actually basis for study themselves.
Everywhere there is a different story for how zombies come into being, but most presume the same thing, a chemical of some sort.
Studies on that chemical are inconclusive, but is referred to as Solanum.

Resident Evil zombies, are fairly close to accurate, in many ways, but rather than compare, we study also.

Once we find out the many different views, we can begin to dissect the loopholes and indescrepencies.
Much like religion.

Who is "we"...?

I'm guessing all Zombie professionals that are linked to Shadow over here.

I'm guessing all Zombie professionals that are linked to Shadow over here.

 

xD

I meant "we" as my secret underground nation.

xD

No, "we" as in a whole, everyone, and anyone that is peaked in this study as well.

xD

I meant "we" as my secret underground nation.

ZOMFG, ZOMBIES? Zombies study zombies?

No, "we" as in a whole, everyone, and anyone that is peaked in this study as well.

So... I'm guessing all Zombie professionals that are linked to Shadow over here. Maybe minus the last 7 words.

Question: Can you write "Zombie" in 1337?

Question: Can you write "Zombie" in 1337?

I tried and failed.

''/_ 0 /\/\ 13 | 3     

|= /-\ | |_
It's "/_ [_] /\/\ |3 | 3

| /\/\ [_]

Your things look weird and your Z's diagonal line is going in the wrong direction. YOU FAIL! XD

Your things look weird and your Z's diagonal line is going in the wrong direction. YOU FAIL! XD

 
| |= | }{ 7 |-| 3 "/_.....

Code: [Select]

< @ |\|    "/ 0 |_|    |) 0    13 3 "|" "|" 3 12    5 |> @ < 1 |\| <-,?


"/ 3  5    1   < @ |\|,  "/ 0 |_|  _/ |_| 5 "|"   |) 0 |\| ' "|"  |_| |\| |) 3 |2 5 "|" @ |\| "|"

Please use the code tag. It helps. And I do understand. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT 1337! We need to ask the Pro a question.

Yes, PLEASE stop...

I can't take all this 1337ness...

Ask a question foo'!

Can snakes become zombies?
Because in Resident Evil, they can.

Can snakes become zombies?
Because in Resident Evil, they can.

In Resident Evil, the story is different.

In actuality, all species of animals do not have the brain functions to host the virus.
Only humans do, and only humans are infected.

In Resident Evil, if I remember correctly, they are mutated animals.
Not zombie ones.

In actuality, all species of animals do not have the brain functions to host the virus.
Only humans do, and only humans are infected.

You're an animalist.  :'(

  (jk)

But explain why animal's brains can't function right to host the virus?
Because from what we know, animals are an intelligent life-form, and have they can have viruses.
So, re-animated things are zombies in some sense, animals can be re-animated. Why can't they be zombies....?  :'(


But it's good to know fluffy wont turn on me! 

Is there a difference between skeletons with brains and zombies? Did you ever study necromantics stuff? Because like way back, one of the queen of englands royal something was a supposed necormancer.

Well, see...

OUR brain, is the most intelligent one on earth.
[From what I hear]
And This virus, fails at re-aimating them, because it cannot feed on a brain without the proper functions.

That's not to say the won't EAT an animal...

That's an entirely different matter.

And, no, I've never really peaked into necromancing.

As much as the subject arises...

What about Monkey's they've been known to be VERY smart....
Or what about things like cats or deers? (I don't think deers is the correct plural....)

Bout the skeletons and zombies.....

A monkey is still not a human.

For odd reasons the virus just doesn't feed off off animals.

It's just the way it is.

It's nature.

A monkey is still not a human.

For odd reasons the virus just doesn't feed off off animals.

It's just the way it is.

It's nature.

It's science.
What about the skeletons with brains...   

Science IS nature.

And skeletons lack the muscle and viens and arteries and various other tissue, which carry, the nerves which in turn create movement of a body.

So just a brain and skeleton would be useless.

Science IS nature.

And skeletons lack the muscle and viens and arteries and various other tissue, which carry, the nerves which in turn create movement of a body.

So just a brain and skeleton would be useless.

I was talking about the virus...

Thanks for clearing that skeleton thing for me!
Also, do they ever say how the T-Virus and all the other ones were made?